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Not really a romance issue, but somehow related. Hoping to get some usefull response about what is expected from friendship and how far should it go. Friends should always be there for each other. Through thick and thin. I have a friendship that is very much appreciated and important to me with a person. It is a friendship that only happens a few times in your life, you feel very connected. However, that person really starts to have a bad alcohol and drugs problem. That person clearly needs help. I believe the only person that can really solve the problem is the person self. I feel there is not much I can do, expect for giving mental support and always be there is hard times. I feel I shouldn't be too involved, otherwise I might be dragged in. It is very sad to see a very dear person ruin life. Sometimes I think it is better too loosing contact, because it is too emotional. But I really can't. Anybody has been or is in the same situation? Any thoughts?

It's sad to see someone you care about take a turn for the worse.

I would suggest that you try to get him to go away with you for a "guys" weekend - leaving behind his "pleasures" and have a straight forward talk. Go to a hotel/resort in Sharjah, where there is no alcohol. Find out what is behind this turn around. Talk about it. Let him know that he will lose you as a friend because it hurts too much to watch him destroy himself. Let him know that if he continues you won't be there for him, but if he acknowledges that he has a problem and wants to do something about it, you will be there for him. I'm sure you are familiar with the saying "tough love".

The thing is, right now you feel sorry for him, but if you continue to watch him "drown", you will eventually feel - and who is to say that if he ever really needs you to help him get himself out of the mess, you will be there? You can't get drawn into it unless you allow yourself to be.

If he's in Dubai, or the UAE, he surely is aware of what could happen to him if caught with the drugs. You have to be out of your mind to get involved with that in Dubai. You are there for him now, but it something happens with the police, there isn't a thing you or anyone else could do to help him. Is losing everything worth it???

Let him know that he's also going to lose other people in his life who care about him and he is going to be left with people who don't give a crap about him.

I have a friend who is in this on-again, off-again relationship with a real loser-user. She knows all the reasons she shouldn't allow him in her life, and knows all the reasons to keep him out, but she continues to open the door and then when he has gotten what he wanted, which is generally money and stealing from her, he disappears. As much as I love her if there is a next time it will be the last time as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to let her know that it's getting old and boring and as long as she continues the way she has been with him, I'm going to take a break from our friendship, because, frankly I'm tired of hearing about what she allowed him to do to her.

Nice to see that friendships are alive and well (especially in Dubai!).