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This is my first post (not counting my intro post). So I thought I'd offer a funny, dating- and Dubai-relevant, story.

I'm moving to Dubai from the UK shortly, but little did I realise that my move would result in dating disaster.

One of my hobbies is martial arts (ju-jitsu, since you ask). There's been a bit of flirting going on between me and one of the students, I'll call her Ninja-girl in order to protect the not-so-innocent.

I find out I'm leaving the UK for Dubai and so I organise a farewell-to-me drinking session in the local boozer for my friends from the martial arts. There's about ten of us, male and female across a wide age range. The talk quickly turns a bit secksual - what's the most comedy place you've had secks etc ... So the stories, and the booze, are flowing and I keep accidentally making eye contact with Ninjagirl. We stagger outside and everyone starts walking off to the local ghastly nightclub ... except me, Ninjagirl and this rather funky older woman, F, who's not drinking so offers to drive. I was going to walk with the others but Ninjagirl grabs me by the arm and drags me off to the car, so I let myself be dragged off. In the car, I'm in the front, Ninjagirl is in the back and she starts massaging my head. I've got a shaved head, so this is just really, really ... niiiiiiice.

In the Club, more drunkeness, and I'm prancing about, dragging people onto the dancefloor, and generally making sure everyone's having fun. Ninjagirl grabs me and says 'You're really getting everyone involved.You know, you're a really special guy.' I agree with her, obviously, drag her onto the dancefloor and it all starts getting really secksual.

For some bizarre reason, and I want a female opinon on this, she starts grinding with a random guy. Maybe she was trying to make me jealous? Anywho, she is with this guy, who I'll call 'stripeytop'. So I ignore her. Then she comes over to me - I'm dancing with other people by now - but she starts dancing secksually with me, then heads back off to stripeytop. This continues for some time but, unfortunately for ninjagirl, stripeytop is a bit weird. So he gets all needy and starts lurking about on the dancefloor and stalking her. I freeze-out ninjagirl because I want to give her a bit of punishment.

Anywho, later on, ninjagirl starts talking to yet another guy, so I send in a mate to chat to him while I hit on ninjagirl - yes, I am sneaky :0)

No messing about this time though. I just walked up to her from the side, took her chin in my left hand, turned her head to face me and then and kissed her. Magic.

We all get separated and thrown out of the club (it is 3am). Ninjagirl disappears. I ring a few times but keep getting the phone answered\cut off straightaway. So I say to my friends, forget it, let's go back to mine for a party. Then my phone rings and it's ninjagirl. She sounds really afraid. Turns out stripeytop had put in an appearance and was stalking her - she'd disappeared and hid somewhere. I tell her to come back to the nightclub car park - big, lots of people, I'm there - it's safe. Gave my house keys to my friends and told them I'll meet them back at my house. So they jump in the car and off they go. Ninjagirl arrives, she's very scared/anxious so I give her a big hug and reassure her she's safe.

Try to jump a taxi back to my place but there are a billion people in the queue. Ninjagirl tells me her flat is nearby. So I take her hand and we head off there. The second I walk through the door I squeeze her hand and tell her show me her bedroom. We walk in, I push her onto the bed and just start taking off my shoes/socks/jewellery. Her face was a picture - happy, bemused and pleasantly shocked at the same time. I guess she just liked it that I was leading and took charge.

So we start having secks, and all the time I'm thinking, "there's ten people sitting around in my living room wondering where I am." Meanwhile, me and Ninjagirl are naked and on the bed. Ninjagirl is getting, er, frisky. She snarls and throws me onto my back (well, she is a martial artist!), then straddles me.

I can still remember her looking down into my eyes, her long, blonde hair hanging down like curtains. Then she exclaimed in a horrified voice:

"You're falling asleep!"

And my response? zzzZZZzzz.

I woke up the next day at 9:30, kicked her out of the bed and told her to make my breakfast. After that, I went on my merry way.

So what has been your biggest dating disaster?

Peace

Habeas

I can't believe I bothered to read that drivel.

utter crap

Wow, you two are feisty! You're like ... little Powerpuff Girls http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Powerpuff_girls

so very long story...

what the heck...

i read it anyway....

well... i like your dating disaster story...kindda funny.....

ummm why the F**k did i actully wasted my time on this useless story ??

thank Goodness I did not bother to read the loooong post, instead I read all the feedback to it, I feel so smart now I always do this kekek

lol..i gotta learn thet from u EJ ...i jus wasted time on NOTHING!

but this trick doesnt always work DA if there is one single person going FOR this article... it wud make me wana read it to team on either sides of the team ... this always happen & i end up readin crap in curosity

easternjewel wrote:but this trick doesnt always work DA if there is one single person going FOR this article... it wud make me wana read it to team on either sides of the team ... this always happen & i end up readin crap in curosity

that means you did read it...suckah!!!....

no no no no, not yet, some of you has to like the article for me to read it!

chariza said she liked it

she *thought* it was funny...

Boring!

thats all you have to say chocs....please, dont hold back...

interesting to note all you girls read it

ya little scampers

did you just call constantine a girl...

bushra21 wrote:did you just call constantine a girl...

now that would be a dating disaster ....

constantine wrote:

bushra21 wrote:did you just call constantine a girl...

now that would be a dating disaster ....

Our dates have been disasters

chariza wrote:so very long story...

well... i like your dating disaster story...kindda funny.....

Awww ... thanks mate. You're a star

Habeas Corpus wrote:

chariza wrote:so very long story...

well... i like your dating disaster story...kindda funny.....

Awww ... thanks mate. You're a star

is that what her name will be (Star) in your next story you share with us?


I joined this forum, we'll just call it THE FORUM for this story. So, I joined THE FORUM because I thought it was really cool and the people were amazing and I wanted to be a part of the community because I am amazing and really cool.

I decided to share one of my love stories, lets call it THE DATING DISASTER story because the people on THE FORUM are really cool and amazing. So, I told them THE DATING DISASTER story and awaited for a response.

Two girls, we'll call the first one CAT GIRL because she has a cat in her avatar so she must like cats, and the second BLOOD GIRL because she has a lot of blood....like, as if....ick! So, CAT GIRL responded first and said that it was drivel and then BLOOD GIRL responded and called THE DATING DISASTER story utter crap.

Those bitches! Well I got them good when I compared them to the powerpuff girls. Because we all know how much people hate those who are amazing and really cool and save the world all before their bed time....and just happen to me incredibly hot girls.

But anyway back to the story. This girl we will refer to her as Star then, who must have hit her head against the wall one too many times after reading THE DATING DISASTER story said that it was funny...oh Star...will you marry me, you seem to be the only one who understands.....

bushra21 wrote:is that what her name will be (Star) in your next story you share with us?

Some blah

[/i]

You know, I always think that it's really cute when a little girl throws a little temper tantrum because someone's challenged her concepts of reality and acts in a way that she doesn't like ... and has no control over.

It's sweet. It's a bit like the way my three year old niece shouts and screams and stamps her feet because mommy won't buy her any candy.

Awwwwwwwwwww

Bushra, have you considered using your enormous wealth to buy the forum?

^

arniegang wrote:interesting to note all you girls read it

ya little scampers

arniegang wrote:interesting to note all you girls read it

ya little scampers

Habeas Corpus wrote:

bushra21 wrote:is that what her name will be (Star) in your next story you share with us?

Some blah

[/i]

You know, I always think that it's really cute when a little girl throws a little temper tantrum because someone's challenged her concepts of reality and acts in a way that she doesn't like ... and has no control over.

It's sweet. It's a bit like the way my three year old niece shouts and screams and stamps her feet because mommy won't buy her any candy.

Awwwwwwwwwww

so you think im cute?

sorry bub, you bore me

^ian^ wrote:Bushra, have you considered using your enormous wealth to buy the forum?

where did this comment come from? im confused...

Gosh this post is sooo tempting to read, whats it about??

EJ, its about a dating disaster who didnt get laid bec he was too drunk...hmmm and he says its Dubai related bec he is coming to Dubai!

I saved your eyes for 5 sec of crap!

I juz don' t read when it's too long ...