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i have been in a relationship for 6 yrs and it started after highschool. He is 4yrs older than and we are from opposite type of family...i can say that we are more blesed tha him but i don't care...i love him and by that time i was just thinking of him and no other else! We are always fighting and sometimes it turns to break-ups..but whenever he comes to me for a reconciliation i always forgive him...until i got pregnant after college. The thing is he is a person who will not move if you didn't ask him to...in short he not a responsible type of man. During my pregnancy, he didn't even try to find a way how we can survive especially that we are having a baby..it was even my dad who's supporting us that time. But im still keeping him. I know his family and friends very well and i have a good relationships with them...but im not living with them! i've tried everything just to show that we have to do something for our future. My family doesn't like him actually and no wonder why..

the baby passed away three days after my delivery and it was very hard time for me..when i lost him..i thought that my life becomes nothing. Everything turns dark for me..and my boyfriend still the same. I was hoping that he might change after all the incident happened to us..i was hoping that he will help me to cope up but nothing has changed. Im fed up! when my brother asked me if i want to come here in dubai, i didn't think twice..i grabbed the opportunity! i leave him with a word that i will come back..but when i say that i wasn't sure of myself if i still love him. I just say that because i don't want him to feel so bad coz im leaving. But he shouldn't be like that because i've come up with this big decision of what he did to me. I don't know..maybe i am so kind enough.

Now, i went for holiday with the decision to end everything with him. Whether he likes it or not. And yes, as expected..he doesn't want to break up with me. But i insisted..and i told him..if you have just change as im telling to him many times before..this will not be happen. Let us just give the chance to our fate...if we are really meant for each other then it will happen...

"Everything will fall down if it is the right time"

oh god, honey, all i can say is may god be with you. i hope that everything works out for the best for you. i dont think that i can say anything on your decision, whether its right or not, because it shouldnt matter. its your life, if you feel its the right decision, then it is -- end of story.


i hope things get better for you. :hug:

you did the right thing sweety! I am very sorry to hear about your incident... if this could not change your guy, I believe nothing can. Some people just dont get it, you have to move on. Gud luck with that

thank you so much...now, there's one guy courting me. We have different religion...he said he likes me and he doesn't care about our religion...im afraid...because i know in myself that i like him too...should i give myself a chance again or i'l leave it...im so confused...

you deserve someone who can support you and provide you with what you need emotionally. if its not him then move on. you've waited long enough for him to change and he hasn't. maybe if he got struck by lightening he wud, but i doubt it. the only variable in this equation that you have the power to change is you and how you manage this situation to make yourself a happier person.

Hey purple sorry to hear what youve been thru...but kinda slow down a little, I dont know when this ill fated experienced happened to you, but maybe you should chill down a little and relax first and not really commit to something dead serious again.

zam wrote:Hey purple sorry to hear what youve been thru...but kinda slow down a little, I dont know when this ill fated experienced happened to you, but maybe you should chill down a little and relax first and not really commit to something dead serious again.

Rigt said Zam, it happens and it happens so easily. When a long standing realtionship is broken, after some time, u'll feel the void that person has left in your life. One would try to fill up the void as soon as possible, which means we may get into more trouble by making hasty decisions. So just hold on purple give it a steady pace n then decide.
Best regards purple.

oh thank you so much for giving me such advise..sometimes you cannot even think right especially when you feel that you are just alone...there are times that i almost forgot what had happed to me...what i just wanted is to be happy nothing else... i'm afraid that what i feel for the man who's courting is just a mask..i mean just to ease the pain i had..we are actually having date for a week..he's very gentle and kind..eventhough we discussed our issues many times..

I dont think you should be "courting" any men right now. Give yourself some time to get over the first boyfriend and just get your life back on track.

my heart breaks into smithereens whenever i hear these kind of stories...

purplegrape, be strong for yourself... time heals all wounds. i think you have made a wise decision of leaving such a jerk.

take care and best of luck,
WH

thank you so much!

Time heals all wounds.... and being in Dubai is gonna make you forget him in no time! The nightlife here is amazing and the guys are plentiful!!! Give me a pm if you wanna join us for a good night out!

well..i'l think of it.. tenkz!

I believe you genuinely have a good heart, and you're future will be bright. People in this thread have given excellent advice (I take my hat of to them all!), and you should definitely, relax, enjoy Dubai, be a little self indulgent for a while and most importantly, re: find your smile.

Just a little bit of further advise coming from a genuine guy to a new girl in Dubai, please because care of believing the endless stories and BS you will hear from many many guys just trying to get into your knickers! I have been hear from 11 months now, and seen sooooo many guys take advantage and string along some of my good friends...

Seriously, relax; make new friends, and DO NOT hide away... DF's has really surprised me, there are lots of good people on here who genuinely care, and often all get together.... So get out there and have a bit of "Me Time".

BTW, I am very sorry to hear about ur situation... Let's pray for a brighter tomorrow...x

purplegrape wrote:
Now, i went for holiday with the decision to end everything with him. Whether he likes it or not. And yes, as expected..he doesn't want to break up with me. But i insisted..and i told him..if you have just change as im telling to him many times before..this will not be happen. Let us just give the chance to our fate...if we are really meant for each other then it will happen...

"Everything will fall down if it is the right time"

ohh dear, i hope everything will be in perfect place for you. Anyway, sometimes things happen for a reason, you may not know the reason for now but i believe there are reasons and it's only you who can figure out what are those reasons. Continue to have faith. I admire your courage.

you did the right thing...very irresponsible person..anyways you must have come out of it by now...but we gals tend to do the mistakes again...so be careful, not everytime you can get away with things...

luks lyke not much guys wanna comment on this..

Well, how do you expect a guy to be even able to comment?
What happened to purplegrape is difficult to even imagine, let alone empathise with.

Purple, a simple yet painful truth: people don't change [don't argue, that's the psychological truth] without a strike of lightning. Moreover, compliance and forgiveness makes poeple feel they're okay the way they are. So they don't change.

Advices and opinions are like assh0les: everyone has one. but another simple truth is that we tend to jump from one pond to the other, not giving ourselves the time to look around while flying across. so you're probably very susceptible to anyone who shows you admiration, "courts you" as you said. it sound like a good idea to give yourself some time to get back into shape, spend time with people good to be with, supportive. Seek friends not lovers.

And hats off to all you true honest & friendly people: I've been here for 3 months now and until I got on this forum I was close to thinking that it simply doesn't happen.

Respect & peace to all.

^^welcome to DF!

PG you did the right thing with that kind of a man you can't have a brighter future. Didn't you even realize maybe he likes you because as you said your family is better than his family financially? Maybe he thought that you being her future wife would be the one to feed him for the rest of his life because I can see from your story that his kind of a BUM person. He didn't even care if he loses a son his pathetic and he deserves to be left alone.

As for now if your working in dubai I suggest you focus first on your job that may help you forget about that dumbass dickhead guy. I know it's hard to adjust because you've been with him for almost 6 years.

If you go back to this guy nothing will change. You will look for signs of change and any little glimpse you get will keep you hanging onto a dream that won't happen. All of the old warning signs you will ignore and it will get harder and harder to leave and you will end up deeply regreting your decision.

Make a list of all times he has screwed you up and treated you bad and how you felt about your life at that time. Whenever you feel like 'maybe it weren't so bad and we could try again' - read out your list. Also don't beat yourself up for thinking you may want him back (we are all human and want company) just think to yourself 'this will pass'.

I don't mean to be harsh..consider it tough love as you have been through to much and deserve way better then that creep.

Last of all - you sound like a real good soul and great catch for some lucky guy out there. Don't waste your life on this creep.

Warm regards,

JJ

Me too, I think you made the right decision - take pride in your strength. A relationship ''on the rebound'' is probably not such a good idea, especially after a relationship with someone who has not appreciated you. Take the time to remember who you are and what you want from life and love. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child like that. But God will bless you in the future when the time is right and you are with the right person.
Take care.

your decision was a no brainer...good move! and good luck!

*if you want..i think DF can ring up volunteers to burn his effigy *