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Hi,

They say that when you need someone's opinion you better get it from someone you don't know.

So here is my problem - I'm 28, traveled a lot around the world and decided to settle in here for a while. My friends are saying that I'm intelligent and have a great sense of humor, also that I'm charming and well, have got a beautiful face.

I'd say that I haven't been able to attract many men into my life because despite all my assets, I have one major imperfection - extra pounds. I believe that this is something that drags men away from me and every time I try to get over this though it gets me even stronger than it did the last time I tried dating.

Have you been there? Is it just me or everyone who has any imperfection is sentenced to stay alone forever? How can I make someone to go beyond the looks and can men accept the imperfection if he likes what is underneath?

Thank you.

there is no such thing as perfect body or perfect person. at this age u really shouldn t even think about these kinds of things. and accept urself. i know it sounds corny, but since everybody has smthing he or she is not happy about, if r mature, we can come to terms with those things. furthermore, a normal grownup with healthy standards and thinking, will not only not look for a perfect partner, but love the one closest to u wor those imperfections.

secretsign wrote:Hi,

They say that when you need someone's opinion you better get it from someone you don't know.

So here is my problem - I'm 28, traveled a lot around the world and decided to settle in here for a while. My friends are saying that I'm intelligent and have a great sense of humor, also that I'm charming and well, have got a beautiful face.

I'd say that I haven't been able to attract many men into my life because despite all my assets, I have one major imperfection - extra pounds. I believe that this is something that drags men away from me and every time I try to get over this though it gets me even stronger than it did the last time I tried dating.

Have you been there? Is it just me or everyone who has any imperfection is sentenced to stay alone forever? How can I make someone to go beyond the looks and can men accept the imperfection if he likes what is underneath?

Thank you.

I`m 28 too, got a nice face, intelligent, travelled around the world etc. & I have no extra pounds as my imperfection & any specific "defects". But yet I`m alone. Maybe cuz I have no a sense of humour??
Your extra pounds make you not confident, not being certain of your abilities to attract men, & this unsureness /but not your pounds!/ make you really less attractive. About appearances, there are men who adore women of such physique as yours! I knew personally 2 women who have eeeeeeeeeextra pounds but it seems they attract men more than any other "ordinary" woman. So the one who doesn`t like your extra pounds - this is you. If you cannot do anything with this - try to love yourself as you are. It`s 1st step to be damn attractive.

secretsign wrote:Hi,

They say that when you need someone's opinion you better get it from someone you don't know.

So here is my problem - I'm 28, traveled a lot around the world and decided to settle in here for a while. My friends are saying that I'm intelligent and have a great sense of humor, also that I'm charming and well, have got a beautiful face.

I'd say that I haven't been able to attract many men into my life because despite all my assets, I have one major imperfection - extra pounds. I believe that this is something that drags men away from me and every time I try to get over this though it gets me even stronger than it did the last time I tried dating.

Have you been there? Is it just me or everyone who has any imperfection is sentenced to stay alone forever? How can I make someone to go beyond the looks and can men accept the imperfection if he likes what is underneath?

Thank you.

secretsign don't underestimate urself and do not insult ur own intelligence! attraction to men is not about ur extra pounds it's about the image of urself that u promote to them! if u will make it an issue , they will percieve it! what u think of urself is so important, so love urself, take care of ur body, loose weight if this will help u get ur confidence but be proud of what u got and others don't : brain! use ur extra brain cells to seduce a man, a woman can be whatever she wants: a princess, a femme fatalle etc! and don't complain about being alone, give thanks to GOd that u don't have a shallow man...the right one will come, don't loose hope, don't act desperate in front of men, they like confident women, be radiant with all the extra pounds! and meanwhile work on ur flirt skills, shape of ur body or whatever that will make u feel good in ur own skin!
good luck

oh, and one more think i forgot to tell u: there r men that love women with extra pounds: my last love wanted me to get some weight even if i am not a skiny

The confidence in yourself has to come from within and if you have self-confidence then other people will pick up on that.

But, harsh reality is that in Dubai there are many many vain people, and those who spend a fortune on looking good, there's a reason they dub certain bars and clubs as 'where the beautiful people hang out' as Joe ordinaries are pretty scarce.

If the extra weight gets you down, then why don't you do something about it? Hate sound a bit harsh, but instead of sitting around complaining that you can't meet guys because you have a few extra pounds, get determined, join a gym, eat healthily and get rid of them!

Turn your frustration into something positive to do something about it, this will also help your self-confidence as well. There's no point wallowing in the self-pity pit.

To: The Chocs Column for Fast Friendly Sympathethic Compassionate Advice

From : A depresive


Dear Auntie Chocs.

I have been reading your column for a long time now. I am writing to you in desperation because i am so depressed about so many things in life. I beg you to offer me some words of comfort and advice to make me feel better. Sometimes i feel like jumping off a bridge onto the highway below, so please be gentle with me.



Reply:



Dear Depresive

Auntie Chocs here. I have read your letter and i think you are a person that needs help of some sort or another. Jeezzz why the fuk dont you just pull yourself together and get your life sorted out.

People like you really get on my tits. Why dont you stop winging and get some positive vibes. There is an old saying that i think will help you.

"the lord helps those, who helps themselves"

There you go, now sort it!.

I hope my words have offered you some comfort and encouragement.




Regards


Auntie Choc



PS:

Ohhh and by the way, if you do jump off the bridge, can you please ensure the timing of the jump so that when you splat on the highway below, you avoid causing a pile up or serious RTA (road traffic accident).

Also, can you place the fall to keep off the sidewalk so that there is no risk of you endangering pedestrians and/or their really cute fluffy doggies.

She's to the point! That's why we love her-a spade is a spade, don't expect her to call it a shovel!!

She makes me laugh, thats why we all love her.

I'm just trying to keep things in perspective here, a few pounds is easily removable and no big deal to shift if you put your mind to it. If you'd been horribly disfigured in a car wreck, lost a leg or an arm or both then there might be something to be upset about.

I hate the fact that I don't have the flat stomach I used to and my butt is not as perky, but hey I just eat well (asides from the choccy bars) get in the gym in a bid to sort it out, and man do I feel good in the process. But even if I don't succeed I have enough self confidence to carry me though as if people don't like or appreciate me for who I am then that's their loss not mine!

Think positive, be positive and people will gravitate towards you.

genius post arnie!