Now, after the corpses have been buried, it's time to decide which of our devout contenders will be awarded for their grisly work during what is the holiest month of the year for them:
Those expecting a blast this Ramadan were certainly not disappointed. Here is a roundup of the best of the worst in the first annual Ramadan Razzies awards. In the future, not only will Shahids collect 72 virgins after detonation, they will also be able to compete for a spot in the Ramadan Hall of Shame.
Highest Body Count:
The award for highest body count in a single incident goes to Al-Queda this year for a market bombing in Kut Iraq that took out 42 shoppers, including 12 children.
Interfaith outreach award:
In keeping with a tradition of increased attacks on Jewish civilians, this year’s Ramadan saw the murder of 8 Israelis in sniper attacks in the town of Eilat. Contenders this year for the interfaith outreach include a church bombing with no fatalities in Kirkuk, Iraq as well as a missile attack on a Jewish seminary that injured 14 and 10 respectively. This is in contrast to the Nigerian raid that left 6 Christians hacked to bits, including women and children. Not to be forgotten, there were also a number of attacks on Shia Moslems from the country that never disappoints to disappoint, Pakistan. Yemen, the dark horse in interfaith outreach now that they have ethnically cleansed all of the Jews from the country, managed to show that when there are no Jews around, 14 Shia will obviously classify as the next best target.
Most innovative:
Perhaps the most innovative attack reaching levels of barbarity rarely seen in other parts of the planet was a tricycle bomb in Peshawar Pakistan that ended the lives of 11 people shopping for food for the official feast that marks the end of Ramadan.
Most backwards:
Obviously, this award is hard to classify. The murder of helpless civilians can never be described as forward thinking, however some acts show a mentality that one cannot help but classify as “pre-modern.” The most backwards award this year will be shared between two groups: to Nigerian Islamists who killed 4 people while watching television in their own homes as well as the 4 killed in an attack on an Iraqi liquor store.
Youngest victim:
Sometimes there is a lag between the information from an attack and the report in media outlets, so this one may have to be revised. The youngest victim at press time was a 3 year old in Thailand.
Most remote location:
While this attack resulted in no deaths, the country that stands out the most in the official Ramadan rankings is Norway. On the 26th of August, a Christian convert from Islam was assaulted with boiling water and acid in a refugee camp.
And remember – you won’t see any of this in the traditional media – so don’t forget to join us for next year’s glittering un:Dhimmi Ramadan Razzies ceremony – because there most definitely will be a next year, folks!
