Jacob Levy had just finished his loan collecting for the week and had done very well, so he thought he would give himself a justly deserved reward and went to a well known brothel.
The madam said "Well, you can have this nice Chinese girl over there for $5, then I have a redhead for $10 and this terrific blonde for $15."
Jacob decided to spend $10 and have a really good time.
More than 20 years later his wife had died and he felt lonely so once again he went to the brothel. He recognised the redhead who was now a madam, and there was a friendly reunion. Suddenly a huge youngster of about 20 years old appeared and called out "Mum, is this guy bothering you?"
"No,No," said the madam, "In fact, John, I'd like you to meet your father."
"What?", said John, "This little Jewish man is my father?", to which Jacob replied "Watch your manners! If I hadn't been so generous you would have been a chinaman!"
This guy walks into a bar, and sits down at the bar. There's a really good-looking girl alone at the end of the bar. He catches her eye, and smiles at her. She gives him an icy stare in return. A little while later he tries again, and is rebuked.
He calls the bartender over. "Listen, I'd really like to meet that girl, can you help me?" "Sure," says the bartender, "have you ever heard of Jewish Fly." "No, is it like Spanish Fly," replies the man. "Much better than that," says the bartender. He mixes the girl a drink, (with the Jewish fly of course) and gives it to her.
A little later she smiles at the man. After a few more minutes she begins to lick her lips suggestively. The man walks over, sits down and says, "May I get you another drink?" "No," she says in a deep sexy voice, "but you can take me shopping'
On the 23rd Psalm for Jewish princesses: 'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He leadeth me into Bloomingdale's.'
Anybody got any Muslim jokes? I've already heard the one about what do you call the Muslim with a bacon chop on his head? Hamed LOOOL. The old one's are the best.
