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Yesterday an outrageous and hideous terrorist act was perpetrated by a suicidal individual. Namely a bee stung my dog on the nose!

The fact that my dog is black could have made this a racially provoked attack as the bee in question was only half black with yellow stripes, however forensic evidence has shown that the suicide attacker was armed with a 'Stinger' in his bum, a name normally associated with an American made weapon only made available to the Israelis. Closer examination of the remains also revealed that the suicide attacker was of a genus prevailing in the Iranian coastal regions.

This damning evidence can only lead to the fact that the suicide bummer was in fact in league with the Israelis and the Iranians. How do I know the Israelis were involved? Because this was a 'B'ee and Benjamin NetandYahoo begins with a B...so it stands to reason, right?

So far Ahmed Toomanylettersinmyname has yet to decry this act of terrorism by Israel as the perpetrator was of Iranian origin. Maybe he will be forced to keep quiet despite my strong condemnation and numerous emails. I therefore take his silence to indicate guilt by association!

Similarly Arrak Old Barmy has yet to make an announcement regarding this latest flagrantly brutal attack on an innocent Arab region dweller. I have demanded that the network behind the perpetrator, also know as 'The Hive', bee (sic) investigated and eliminated by the CIA, F Bee I, DEA, Mossad, MI6 and Ahmed, the man from Dubai Municipality Pest Control Department. To date no action has been forthcoming and I am tempted to start my own resistance movement.

Brothers we must stand firm against these willful acts of bee terrorism and defend the faith. (My dog is not called Faith, but 'defend the Cleo' doesn't sound quite as good...)

Vive La Resistance!



Knight

Ahh, but extensive research proved that the Bee's uncle once visited a flower that looked like a flower that was in a catalogue that someone said was from Mossad and the CIA... therefore the evidence shows that the Bee was indeed given support by Zionist agro-terrorist and decadent western capitalist GM-loving agencies!

Rumours that it was a wasp are being discounted, or the fact that dogs and bees have a long running feud.




Cheers,
Shafique

Could this be a flagrant lie??? What the above observation fails to note is that prior to the suicidal attack the bee did make a trip to Problemistan also fondly called Pornistan owing to the fact that the highest propensity of p<3n searches emancipate from the region (reference google). There it is believed that the bees were trained to release the stinging pheromones on moving objects or particles with the sole purpose of causing chaos and potential destruction. That the dog was black was possibly a decoy or a mere coincidence.

The Ministry of Colonialism and Conquest headed by Arrak Old Barmy and Co have since denied that the "stinger" located at the very strategic release point on the bum of the bee was an American product, pointing out that they would've rather located the stinger on an external carrier so as to maximize profits. The ministry further added that the modus operandi of the attack was eerily similar to modern guerrilla warfare tactics conceptualized by the peace loving state of terroristan. He further noted that a bee will rarely strike when away from the hive. Going on he said that "Such haphazard behavior is one of the major symptoms of a trip to Problemistan".

That said the government of Problemistan fondly called the 10% government (owing to the fact that in order to get work done there you first need to pay a 10% bribe) has since denied that the honeybee could've visited their shores citing that to reach it's lands the bee would first have to pass through the land of KamaSutra where in all likelihood it would've been trapped by poachers owing to the bumblebee's endangered status!!!