Unwed Mixed Ethnicity Couple...

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Unwed mixed ethnicity couple... May 14, 2007
Hi all!
I'm considering moving to Dubai for six months with my boyfriend. I know that cohabitating with a partner is illegal in Dubai. I feel that if we respect the country and conduct ourselves with decorum and temperance, then our living situation will not cause us issue based on our behaviour. My concern is that my boyfriend is of different ethnicity. Will this create more interest in us as a couple? Added to this, we have different country passports and residency, as well as first languages, so it would be obvious that we're not married.
Please help me out!
Thank you.

Cangura
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May 14, 2007
It would help to know where you're both from. However many people co-habit in Dubai with no major issues. Basically if you're muslim it could be frowned upon, and don't annoy your neighbours.

It would be esier to put an apartment in just one of your names and for the other to stay with you.

It's really not a big deal these days.
Chocoholic
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May 14, 2007
I'm from Australia and my boyfriend is from Colombia. Thanks for your reply. I know there are many nationalities represented in Dubai, so is it common to see couples where the partners are from different countries?
Cangura
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May 14, 2007
Cool places. You'll be fine. :lol:
Chocoholic
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May 14, 2007
Chocoholic wrote:Cool places. You'll be fine. :lol:


Chocs, this is not correct, you are advising people to break the law. If they are reported as cohabiting without being married they can go to prison followed by deportation, this is really not "FINE"
sage & onion
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May 15, 2007
Have many couples been deported for living together? If we had a problem with the police and were deported, it would not be as devestating for me, as I'd come back to Australia. If my boyfriend is sent back to Colombia, getting another Visa for any country would become even more problematic.
Cangura
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May 15, 2007
Cangura wrote:Have many couples been deported for living together? If we had a problem with the police and were deported, it would not be as devestating for me, as I'd come back to Australia. If my boyfriend is sent back to Colombia, getting another Visa for any country would become even more problematic.


Who knows how many have been arrested, you should however know the risk, thats the point I am making. Here with all these things, their is never a problem until their is a problem.
sage & onion
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May 15, 2007
Its up to the government to come forward and make a clear statement on the law.

Looks at the following statement;

'Mohammad Yousuf, Deputy Director of the Dubai Courts Department, said while the Federal punitive law is implemented in the UAE, the situation is different in Dubai. The Tawajed or Tahseen Al Ma'asiya clause, he said, is not implemented in Dubai.'

* http://www.gulfnews.com/uae/about_uae/p ... 27928.html

Maybe the UAE wishes to respect sharia as an Islamic state, but does not want to scare of tourists as the tourist industry is such a large part of the GNP.

Either way it's time they cleared this up.
jabbajabba
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May 15, 2007
No-one I know has ever had any problems. We all know you're not supposed to do it, but we all know that the Government turn a blind eye to it, unless you're Muslim or local.

So lets be honest and save the hassle of them having to live seperately or whatever. As I said before so many couples, just put one name on the lease and the other just lives there too.

No-one has hassles unless you annoy your neighbours or get into trouble for something else.

That's the truth of it.
Chocoholic
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May 15, 2007
sage & onion wrote:Chocs, this is not correct, you are advising people to break the law. If they are reported as cohabiting without being married they can go to prison followed by deportation, this is really not "FINE"


The number of people I know here who co-habitate, have liquor in their house without a license, and do alcohol runs Sage.... well, the mind just boggles.

I think you have more chance of being deported in a pine box after an SZR accident.
^ian^
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May 15, 2007
^ian^ wrote:
sage & onion wrote:Chocs, this is not correct, you are advising people to break the law. If they are reported as cohabiting without being married they can go to prison followed by deportation, this is really not "FINE"


The number of people I know here who co-habitate, have liquor in their house without a license, and do alcohol runs Sage.... well, the mind just boggles.

I think you have more chance of being deported in a pine box after an SZR accident.


Ian, I also know many who do all of this however, we should not be advising people to just go straight ahead and break the law because
No-one I know has ever had any problems.
I do know of several couples over the last 15 years that have had problems and because of this I will always advise people that they can have a problem. What they do from that point is up to them.
sage & onion
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May 15, 2007
Chocoholic wrote:No-one I know has ever had any problems. We all know you're not supposed to do it, but we all know that the Government turn a blind eye to it, unless you're Muslim or local.

So lets be honest and save the hassle of them having to live seperately or whatever. As I said before so many couples, just put one name on the lease and the other just lives there too.

No-one has hassles unless you annoy your neighbours or get into trouble for something else.

That's the truth of it.


Once again Chocs, thats the truth of it as you know it, people should not blindly follow this advice. When a problem occurs the Authorities will not turn a blind eye to it, because laws are being broken.
sage & onion
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May 16, 2007
You can live together unmarried, but not worth the risk. You'll always be watching who's behind you. In other words, uncomfortable as it is not as tolerable and acceptable compared to your home country.

It's so sad to see couple who went to jail because of this illicit relationship (relationship outside marriage), as per 'sharia'. One of the punishment is lashing every friday. I pity the lady in this situation.

Choc, i think you should visit one of the jails around UAE. It's not made public whenever the authorities caught couple violating such law, for the reason - NOT TO SCARE TOURIST AWAY. In reality, visit the jail and there you'll see.

Lucky for couple who are living together unmarried and were not yet caught at the moment. If you wish to stay together unmarried, keep the relationship LOW KEY and avoid being in trouble such as driving when you're 'together' (avoid street or traffic fight) etc..
asc_26
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May 16, 2007
asc_26 wrote:You can live together unmarried, but not worth the risk. You'll always be watching who's behind you. In other words, uncomfortable as it is not as tolerable and acceptable compared to your home country.

It's so sad to see couple who went to jail because of this illicit relationship (relationship outside marriage), as per 'sharia'. One of the punishment is lashing every friday. I pity the lady in this situation.

Choc, i think you should visit one of the jails around UAE. It's not made public whenever the authorities caught couple violating such law, for the reason - NOT TO SCARE TOURIST AWAY. In reality, visit the jail and there you'll see.

Lucky for couple who are living together unmarried and were not yet caught at the moment. If you wish to stay together unmarried, keep the relationship LOW KEY and avoid being in trouble such as driving when you're 'together' (avoid street or traffic fight) etc..


The driving part is only a huge issue in Sharjah. Never had a problem in Dubai.
gtmash
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May 16, 2007
asc_26 wrote:You can live together unmarried, but not worth the risk. You'll always be watching who's behind you. In other words, uncomfortable as it is not as tolerable and acceptable compared to your home country.


I did it for a while, was never watching who was behind me, except of course under normal driving conditions :-)

Choc, i think you should visit one of the jails around UAE. It's not made public whenever the authorities caught couple violating such law, for the reason - NOT TO SCARE TOURIST AWAY. In reality, visit the jail and there you'll see.


But of course you're in the know right? The jails are so packed with all these people who were unmarried couples they have to build new ones right? Or SHOULD build new ones, because there's a massive amount of people in Dubai who co-habitate... MASSIVE!

Lucky for couple who are living together unmarried and were not yet caught at the moment. If you wish to stay together unmarried, keep the relationship LOW KEY and avoid being in trouble such as driving when you're 'together' (avoid street or traffic fight) etc..


WTF? Sorry, but this is just the biggest load of fear mongering bullsh!t. Deadset it is. Driving together? What crap!

Here's a tip. If you're co-habitating, behave like any other NORMAL people, and don't attract undue attention by behaving ABNORMALLY.
^ian^
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May 16, 2007
To establish if it is breaking the law, we need to know what is the standing law at the moment for Dubai , aside to Sharjah, RAK, AD etc.

It seems very flaky and unclear - just as much as we have different views its seems most of the police and the courts don't really know as well.
jabbajabba
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May 16, 2007
gtmash wrote:
asc_26 wrote:You can live together unmarried, but not worth the risk. You'll always be watching who's behind you. In other words, uncomfortable as it is not as tolerable and acceptable compared to your home country.

It's so sad to see couple who went to jail because of this illicit relationship (relationship outside marriage), as per 'sharia'. One of the punishment is lashing every friday. I pity the lady in this situation.

Choc, i think you should visit one of the jails around UAE. It's not made public whenever the authorities caught couple violating such law, for the reason - NOT TO SCARE TOURIST AWAY. In reality, visit the jail and there you'll see.

Lucky for couple who are living together unmarried and were not yet caught at the moment. If you wish to stay together unmarried, keep the relationship LOW KEY and avoid being in trouble such as driving when you're 'together' (avoid street or traffic fight) etc..


The driving part is only a huge issue in Sharjah. Never had a problem in Dubai.


Good, someone understands what i meant. In Dubai, if you violate traffic rules (jumping the red light) especially at night and the traffic police saw it...he'll ask you to stop the car and loads of questions follow. Worst, he won't hesitate to ask these: Who's the lady in the passenger seat? Where have you been? It's late at night, what are you doing at this time of the hour?

This colleague of mine is good at making excuses...so he & his gf get away with it. :)

JJ, the law is simple... NO RELATIONSHIP/AFFAIRS OUTSIDE MARRIAGE. If couple who's into this kind of relationship should behave especially in public.

Co-habiting is fine if not caught. Again, low key and behave.

Co-habiting with siblings is another story.
asc_26
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May 16, 2007
jabbajabba wrote:To establish if it is breaking the law, we need to know what is the standing law at the moment for Dubai , aside to Sharjah, RAK, AD etc.

It seems very flaky and unclear - just as much as we have different views its seems most of the police and the courts don't really know as well.


The whole point is, whatever Ian or Chocs like to say, it most certainly is against the law for two persons of the opposite s.ex to live together. As I keep saying their is never a problem until their is a problem. The fact of the matter is we should not be advising people to go ahead and do this because in reality they can get into serious trouble.
sage & onion
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May 16, 2007
I see your point sage and it's not wise to ignore and then have the tears come later.

My point is that no one seems to know what the law currently states - if you can point me to an official source I would be interested to see this, not a challenge on your word its a valid request as some friends of mine (both unmarried but together for four years) want to visit it us on holiday, if they face lashes and deportation they may change there minds and go to thailand instead.

I remember quoting this earlier somewhere and cannot remember the post;

"Mohammad Yousuf, Deputy Director of the Dubai Courts Department, said while the Federal punitive law is implemented in the UAE, the situation is different in Dubai. The Tawajed or Tahseen Al Ma'asiya clause, he said, is not implemented in Dubai."

http://www.gulfnews.com/uae/about_uae/p ... 27928.html
jabbajabba
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May 17, 2007
Agreed. A couple of years ago we were sent information at work regarding new decency laws in Sharjah. These included a dress code ( no shorts, no sleeves garments for women etc. ) and instruction that a woman should not be found in a car or in a private place with a man who is not of her immediate family.
In the weeks after the law was announced, a male colleage was arrested on Buheirah Corniche for wearing very skimpy running shorts. They only held him at the police station for a few hours.
Another colleague was caught in a flat with the Sri Lankan housemaid of a Saudi family. He said he'd been there to try to help her with problems she was having with the family. He was arrested and deported.
Apaarently the laws are still applicapable but all the inital fuss has died down.

Having said this, that's Sharjah which is a law unto itself! You can get away with quite a lot if you keep your head down, but like Sage says, shit happens and if it does, then the consequences can be really serious.
sauron
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May 17, 2007
But that's Sharjah, it's alot tougher than Dubai.

If people are just 'visiting' there's really no issue. As otherwise hotels would not be allowed to give rooms to unmarried couples, but of course in the name of 'tourism' they have to.
Chocoholic
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May 17, 2007
Chocoholic wrote:But that's Sharjah, it's alot tougher than Dubai.

If people are just 'visiting' there's really no issue. As otherwise hotels would not be allowed to give rooms to unmarried couples, but of course in the name of 'tourism' they have to.


Yep. My unmarried British "white" relative and her "white" boyfriend stayed at some RAK resort without issues.
gtmash
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May 17, 2007
Chocoholic wrote:But that's Sharjah, it's alot tougher than Dubai.

If people are just 'visiting' there's really no issue. As otherwise hotels would not be allowed to give rooms to unmarried couples, but of course in the name of 'tourism' they have to.


Once again this is the wrong advice, regardless of how many people are living together out of wedlock without problems, they are still breaking the law, thats the bottom line, as long as people are aware of this the rest is up to them.
sage & onion
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May 18, 2007
gtmash wrote:
Chocoholic wrote:But that's Sharjah, it's alot tougher than Dubai.

If people are just 'visiting' there's really no issue. As otherwise hotels would not be allowed to give rooms to unmarried couples, but of course in the name of 'tourism' they have to.


Yep. My unmarried British "white" relative and her "white" boyfriend stayed at some RAK resort without issues.


I think its a lot more complex then just color though.

British "white" is quite different to East European "white" - in the same way as high caste educated Indian to a construction laborer.

Sage - I see you point i really do, but what i don't understand is that the Deputy Director of the Dubai Courts has stated to the press that it is not illegal in Dubai. This individual holds one of the highest positions there is in the judicial system in Dubai - so he should understand the laws. If what he understands of the laws differs to what the laws actually state - then who does know?

So I am not saying it is illegal or legal - I am just a confused as everyone else.
jabbajabba
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May 18, 2007
jabbajabba wrote:
gtmash wrote:
Chocoholic wrote:But that's Sharjah, it's alot tougher than Dubai.

If people are just 'visiting' there's really no issue. As otherwise hotels would not be allowed to give rooms to unmarried couples, but of course in the name of 'tourism' they have to.


Yep. My unmarried British "white" relative and her "white" boyfriend stayed at some RAK resort without issues.


I think its a lot more complex then just color though.

British "white" is quite different to East European "white" - in the same way as high caste educated Indian to a construction laborer.

Sage - I see you point i really do, but what i don't understand is that the Deputy Director of the Dubai Courts has stated to the press that it is not illegal in Dubai. This individual holds one of the highest positions there is in the judicial system in Dubai - so he should understand the laws. If what he understands of the laws differs to what the laws actually state - then who does know?

So I am not saying it is illegal or legal - I am just a confused as everyone else.


I have not seen or heard of this before, other than you mentioning it, however I do know of 2 cases over the past year, in Dubai, that have been imprisoned for cohabiting. Furthermore it is most definately illegal in accordance with Sharia law, which is the basis of the legal system here.
sage & onion
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May 18, 2007
Thanks for all your replies, though I'm still as confused as ever. I'd never heard that an unmarried woman was prohibited from being a passenger in a car with a man whom is not her relative.

I assumed that cohabiting is illegal, but there seems to be dispute over whether this law is enforced or not. The lack of concrete information lends me to believe that it's not, but nothing would be worse than relocating only to find out I'm mistaken.

It's good to know people in Dubai won't pay attention to a couple from different backgrounds. My boyfriend is not white, and in some incidences has been mistaken for Arab.
Cangura
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