- You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat.
- You think the uncut version of 'Little House on the Prairie' is provocative.
- You think everyones first name is Al.
- You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Farenheit.
- You expect everyone to own two mobile phones.
- Your idea of housework is to leave a list for the houseboy/babysitter/maid/helper.
- You believe that speed limits are only advisory.
- You expect all police to drive BMWs or Mercedes.
- You know whether you are in missile range of Iran.
- You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn.
- You can't buy anything without asking for a discount.
- You expect all stores to stay open until midnight.
- You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act.
- You make left turns from the far right lane.
- You send friends a map instead of your address.
- You understand why huge 4x4's must slow down to a snails pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100km/h.
- You think 'Howareyoufine' is one word. So is 'Mamsir'.
- You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm.
- You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month.
- You have a moon phase predictor on your computer.
- You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore.
- You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something.
- You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide.
- You realise the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line.
- Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands no longer distracts you.
- You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case.
- You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque.
- You think it is a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar.
- Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but actual job titles.
- Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia.
- Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes..................
Maybe you've all heard 'em before. Got this in an email yesterday. Got anything to add to the list?
