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sage & onion wrote:

Snow wrote:I noticed that men always like to give out advice about how women should act in a relationship...why is that?

Because you need it

No. You need it.

Snow wrote:

sage & onion wrote:

Snow wrote:I noticed that men always like to give out advice about how women should act in a relationship...why is that?

Because you need it

No. You need it.

need what?

sage & onion wrote:

Snow wrote:

sage & onion wrote:

Snow wrote:I noticed that men always like to give out advice about how women should act in a relationship...why is that?

Because you need it

No. You need it.

need what?

a young woman, apparently

quatroporte wrote:

kanelli wrote:

quatroporte wrote:

Vmiss wrote:If you are married to a good looking woman then someone came on to you so strongly, someone who is a better looking than your wife. Would you cheat? Is there still honest man around?

Sadly, I heard this is common here in Dubai but I wanted to know how common it is.

the reason WHY most men cheat because their "wives" are not pleasing them.. either too busy with children, career or her friends or can't please her husband in general.

A man will never turn to another women if he is happy with his wife... he will never cheat on her.

so if your husband cheated... ask yourself the question where did you go wrong in the relationship?

anyway, whatever the reason was... cheating can't be justified.

my two fils

Geez, have some men even thought of their wife's perspective? Think how hard it is for a woman to feel s.e.x.y when she may have gained weight after having kids, they are hanging off her body all the time breastfeeding or needing cuddles, and she is tired from waking often in the night and cooking and cleaning all the time. The kids do become her first priority, so her brain and body are committed to that purpose. Give her a break! Only an as.s.hole husband would just sneak off and cheat when his wife is going through that.

what a lame excuse.....

I can understand that the responsibilities the woman have to raise kids etc etc. but this is the lamest excuse for her to turn a fat pig, always with negative attitude and never care for herself... what a lame excuse

offcourse.. I agree... an as.shole who cheats on his/her partner...

regardless how the wife/husband physically looks.. both should be happy... both should work on each other happiness...

but you talk as having things for GRANTED...

When you turn like a fat pig, become ugly and have no time for romance and you are full of nagging and problems... don't cry when your husband cheated on you... Taking a relationship for GRANTED is the worst ever mistake.

again cheating is never justified

you need to educate yourself woman... perhaps read some relationship books. or go read the book "WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES"

ohh you should meet my mom... after 27years of marriage she still go to gym look her best... and her relationship with my dad is all open romance... people still mistake her as my elder sister...

don't be the boring typical wife

This is a shocking response. You have clearly shown any woman that you are not marriage material. If you are married, I pity the woman.

I can see in your future that you will cheat, and then just turn around and blame your partner after because she wasn't fulfilling "YOUR" needs.

It would be really interesting to see what you'd say if your wife cheated on you because you weren't fulfilling her needs. Male chauvinists don't really take well to their own attitudes or behaviour being thrown back at them.

But, to answer what I'd do if my husband cheated... Since I have a good education and can make a nice salary, I don't need to keep a cheating loser around, so I'd turf him, hire a lawyer and fight for my money and kids.

gtmash wrote:

ex-dxbexpat wrote:

Vmiss wrote:If you are married to a good looking woman then someone came on to you so strongly, someone who is a better looking than your wife. Would you cheat? Is there still honest man around?

Sadly, I heard this is common here in Dubai but I wanted to know how common it is.

It's is VERY common. I was only 4-month married when I arrived in Dubai last April 2007. 4 months later, my husband and I met a single nice girl through friends ... I didnt have many close friends and she was very kind and sweet... Dubai can be a very lonely place sometimes, especially if your husband and yourself work all the time. Next thing I knew... my husband changed out of the sudden, asked for divorce and then found out that my new friend was having an affair with him... I know he was sorry... but I guess not enough, because continued the affair. I left him... they are still together and sometimes I think it's not exactly cos they love each other but more out of lust, self gratification and loneliness... many single people are lonely and craving for company... my husband wasn't exactly a good looking guy, just another married ex-pat earning good money - the girl was pretty, 10 years younger and she said many times she was so lonely and hoping to find a boyfriend soon... I guess marriage vows mean nothing to some people. My advice... if you dont think your relationship is strong enough... dont bother moving to Dubai. Most of the couples I met there are now separated or divorced.... adultery is very common.

That is just wrong.

Well, according to quatroporte it would be her fault because she must not have been keeping her husband happy.

ex-dbxpat - just think that it was good you made an early escape and didn't waste more of your precious lifetime on a husband like that. Even if they are still together, that new woman must wonder when he might pick and leave her for greener pastures. From some examples I have seen, this kind of guy does move on when a "better" opportunity appears.

Hmmm!!....... No one is Same!.... we should't take same as evryone or One who have cheated his wife, or husband!!........ Just depend's on a person ..... we still have pure n sinser people!!!......... That why we still living!!!!....................

quatroporte wrote:

Vmiss wrote:If you are married to a good looking woman then someone came on to you so strongly, someone who is a better looking than your wife. Would you cheat? Is there still honest man around?

Sadly, I heard this is common here in Dubai but I wanted to know how common it is.

the reason WHY most men cheat because their "wives" are not pleasing them.. either too busy with children, career or her friends or can't please her husband in general.

A man will never turn to another women if he is happy with his wife... he will never cheat on her.

so if your husband cheated... ask yourself the question where did you go wrong in the relationship?

anyway, whatever the reason was... cheating can't be justified.

my two fils

I do extremely agree with you!
but i dont need to consider this problem right now, as i am not yet got marry till now...

I won't cheat my wife if i really love her.. You must imagine how hurt you will be if your wife cheated you and goes with another man.. I always remember that, so i know the feeling of being cheated by someone you love the most. It hurts, very hurts, trust me.

I won't/can't one woman would be too much; two horror.

i laughed my head off at this cheating story, enjoy
http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_ ... es_husband

raycxw wrote:

quatroporte wrote:

Vmiss wrote:If you are married to a good looking woman then someone came on to you so strongly, someone who is a better looking than your wife. Would you cheat? Is there still honest man around?

Sadly, I heard this is common here in Dubai but I wanted to know how common it is.

the reason WHY most men cheat because their "wives" are not pleasing them.. either too busy with children, career or her friends or can't please her husband in general.

A man will never turn to another women if he is happy with his wife... he will never cheat on her.

so if your husband cheated... ask yourself the question where did you go wrong in the relationship?

anyway, whatever the reason was... cheating can't be justified.

my two fils

I do extremely agree with you!
but i dont need to consider this problem right now, as i am not yet got marry till now...

Don't bother getting married.

kanelli wrote:This is a shocking response. You have clearly shown any woman that you are not marriage material. If you are married, I pity the woman.

Marriage Material???? I don't care how OTHER women look at me... I care about how my girl do see me... both of us love eachother and we make sure keeping our relationship healthy.

kanelli wrote:I can see in your future that you will cheat, and then just turn around and blame your partner after because she wasn't fulfilling "YOUR" needs.

so nice, you can see my future

let me tell you about my future with a wife like you;

you are definitely not the type of wife I will ever wish to be with... nagging, negative, after delivering two kids you will became a fat ugly cow... the type of wife that turns around after few years and ask me WHY I DON"T LOVE HER LIKE BEFORE...

if you go back and read my posts again, you will find ME the one who is insisting on making MY partner happy. and that we both make sure the relationship is healthy...

I dont get it... why is it hard for you to admit that a happy successful marriage is based in mutual love and making sure we both are happy???

kanelli wrote:It would be really interesting to see what you'd say if your wife cheated on you because you weren't fulfilling her needs. Male chauvinists don't really take well to their own attitudes or behaviour being thrown back at them

I think I have made it clear from the beginning... I was not blaming the ladies only, it was for both... if she cheated on me and having an affair with another man... it is clearly the relationship is not working!!!! and yes I blame myself... especially if I was a looser, not taking care of myself or I treat her bad... if she cheated or dumped me, I should not be surprised...

for once... or at least on this forums... for once, be positive and say positive stuff or be optimistic

Actually, no, you were blaming the wife for not taking care of her man and justifying men cheating, then saying the man shouldn't do it. Make up your mind!

Your girl will be happy until she finds out you cheat and start blaming her for it.

I take it you don't have any kids yet so have no clue about how relationships change after?

Hmm, I'm wondering where you got the idea that I would be a fat cow after having kids. Have you seen any pics of me?:lol: I was talking in general about how women feel after having children, and some do struggle with weight. Some men (like you apparently) who have issues with temporary weight gain and possible self-esteem issues after childbirth might find it justification to cheat. A woman who becomes a mother and has some baby weight and low libido might be called a cow by an insensitive husband, but then he would be the a.s.s wouldn't he.

I'll be positive when I don't read male chauvinist rubbish like what your initial post was.

kanelli wrote:Actually, no, you were blaming the wife for not taking care of her man and justifying men cheating, then saying the man shouldn't do it. Make up your mind!

Your girl will be happy until she finds out you cheat and start blaming her for it.

I take it you don't have any kids yet so have no clue about how relationships change after?

Hmm, I'm wondering where you got the idea that I would be a fat cow after having kids. Have you seen any pics of me?:lol: I was talking in general about how women feel after having children, and some do struggle with weight. Some men (like you apparently) who have issues with temporary weight gain and possible self-esteem issues after childbirth might find it justification to cheat. A woman who becomes a mother and has some baby weight and low libido might be called a cow by an insensitive husband, but then he would be the a.s.s wouldn't he.

I'll be positive when I don't read male chauvinist rubbish like what your initial post was.

I am tired repeating myself!!!! its clear you are not reading properly... and you are misunderstanding the whole conversation...

a fat cow means you turning obese... little weight gain was never ever an issue... so don't manipulate my words...

I have a sister with two babies, my ant with two young teens and my mother... interesting to see how they took care of their bodies... they never said the stuff you bluff... and its not about how you look, so man will cheat... its your attitude towards yourself looking great... not blaming the kids and work for the reasons why you don't have time to take care of yourself...

BTW, I don't know either from where you had the idea that I will cheat on my wife!!! you never met me too... and thats why I mentioned in my last post that if I want to prejudge you based on your replies; YOU LOOK LIKE A FAT UGLY COW, Nagging all the time... I am just mirroring you...

lets not drag this conversation further...

Relax Quattro she’s a journalist by profession who was definitely indoctrinated into the thick of things when it comes to man bashing in the second wave of feminist rallies I predict from the late 80’s – early 90’s held in her university. A bit of a generation gap there too.

Thus tickling your sensitivities is joyful to her.

I would have just told her to take her issues and viewpoints to Oprah and not bother justifying anything.

kanelli wrote:Some men (like you apparently) who have issues with temporary weight gain and possible self-esteem issues after childbirth might find it justification to cheat..

as I said... you never read properly.... because I never ever said that I justify cheating!!!!

please go read again...

quatroporte, you just seem really naive and not sure about what exactly you believe. You can't say that a woman should look at what she has done if her man cheats, then say "but" he shouldn't cheat. By saying the woman needs to look at herself as the cause of why her man cheated, that is blaming her for his conduct. It has been shown time and again that men can cheat just because of opportunity and most of them end up trying to stay with their wives when found out - why? Because they love their wives and want to make the family work. They cheated because of s.e.x, wanting to have some excitement outside of married life - whatever. It was the husband's choice to cheat. Saying that a man cheats because his wife doesn't keep him happy is very one-sided. That was my point and I stick to it. I read your posts and understand exactly what you said. The only part I agree with is that both the husband and wife need to try to keep the relationship strong, because that should help reduce the chances of either cheating.

If you re-read my posts, I only said that you seem the type to cheat when your woman isn't keeping you happy, then blame her. That was based on the opinions you gave in black and white. You then came at me as "fat cow", which is very rude. Even women who gain a lot of weight at some point should never be called a "fat cow". Time and again you can see that in general women keep themselves in good shape and it is the men who get fat over time - and they aren't even having any babies! Now should their wives cheat?

godsent, you are just being an a.s.s. Why don't you comment on the actual topic of this thread, or do you only like to speak up when you don't like feminist comments?

kanelli wrote: godsent, you are just being an a.s.s. Why don't you comment on the actual topic of this thread, or do you only like to speak up when you don't like feminist comments?

I am not getting on the debating team bus with you. You are an evil child. There can be no dialogue or discourse with you. I throw in the towel.

When the fourth bournefire of lingerie burning happened the rules that you were indoctrinated to were "Women shall have their way or you better hit the highway pal"

Reverse-sexism is well and alive.
I need to do the dishes and clean up.

kanelli wrote:It has been shown time and again that men can cheat just because of opportunity and most of them end up trying to stay with their wives when found out - why? Because they love their wives and want to make the family work.

Is this your opinion about men!!!!! I feel sorry for you...

not all men cheat, even for an opportunity... same applies to you women... remember that

^^^^^^

She loves it Quattro she loves it!
Multiple exclamation marks are food for the womanconda as they signify annoyance and frustration from her prey.
Now that she has you in her grips with your frustrated answers she will swallow you whole.
RUN you level-headed lad run!!!!

Maybe men and women are exactly the same but we don't notice it.

...

Unfortunately not everyone has the strength to control their biological urges and impulses.Most of us will make a concious decision to commit ourselves
to mongamous relationships but those of us who are aesthetically gifted will always have to fight off advances from others whilst others dont get any attention at all.Aesethics is the catylst and Temptation is the almighty ruler and will inevitably ruin the weak.There a radio announcer here in Adelaide who keeps bringing this subject up and says"The main rule if your going to play around is thou shall not get caught!" Ive never been propositioned in 15 yrs of marriage,the other thing is mirrors dont lie!

Snow wrote:Maybe men and women are exactly the same but we don't notice it.

That would make all of us gay then.

If you dont have a mirror you will be!!!

Cheating is a phase when the guards are down to due various reasons. I have seen some professionals lose control over their emotions during high stress and little communication from husband or wife.

It is also when one feels neglected and misses the past. A lot of couples do not discuss what they are going through, once they become parents. This allows them to start cooking different versions in their mind and start to seek attention elsewhere. This certainly would happen more with a couple that has not yet reached the comfort level of discussing everything and anything under the sun.

I am certainly not negating few others that will cheat which ever way as they are just built or grown that way. Yet, I have come across few that have had a wild past, only to settle down as the most admirable partner any1 could ever have.

Here is an online article that reviews research on infidelity. It is 23 pages long... haven't read it all through yet. Very interesting! Maybe none of us know enough about the causes of infidelity... (seems there are too many factors!)

Here is one excerpt about gender and infidelity,

"Some authors strongly assert that more men (when compared with women) engage in infidelity (Alien & Baucom, 2004; Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson, 2001), have significantly more sexual partners outside of their primary relationship (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Spanier & Margolis, 1983; Wiggins & Lederer, 1984), have more permissive attitudes toward sex outside of the primary relationship (Lieberman, 1988; Thompson, 1984), and have a stronger desire to engage in infidelity (Prins et al., 1993). In a recent study, Allen and Baucom (2004) found that men with dismissive attachment styles are particularly prone to engage in infidelity.

At the same time, other research suggests that men are only "somewhat" more likely than women to engage in infidelity (Choi et al., 1994), that men and women's rates of infidelity are becoming increasingly similar (Oliver & Hyde, 1993), and that men and women really do not differ in terms of behavior (even though men desire it more; Prins et al., 1993). Wiederman (1997) supports this notion; he found that there are no differences in frequency and types of infidelity for men and women under the age of 40."

Another paragraph about opportunity and infidelity,

"The findings about perceived and actual opportunity leading to a higher incidence of infidelity have important implications for clinical work and recovery. In treatment, it seems that therapists would do well to encourage partners to contain the opportunities for infidelity so that the primary relationship can be the focus (Glass & Wright, 1988). It appears in some cases that opportunity can override the positive aspects of a relationship, and even strong relationships can experience infidelity if the right opportunities come along. Even though research is not conclusive on this point, Glass (2002) convincingly argued that people in good marriages are vulnerable to emotional and sexual infidelity. Blumstein and Schwartz (1983) agree that all couples are vulnerable to infidelity."

Blow, Adrian J., & Hartnett, Kelley (2005) Infidelity in committed relationships II: A substantive review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy [April] http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_q ... _n13641677

kanelli wrote:Here is an online article that reviews research on infidelity. It is 23 pages long... haven't read it all through yet. Very interesting! Maybe none of us know enough about the causes of infidelity... (seems there are too many factors!)

Here is one excerpt about gender and infidelity,

"Some authors strongly assert that more men (when compared with women) engage in infidelity (Alien & Baucom, 2004; Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson, 2001), have significantly more sexual partners outside of their primary relationship (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Spanier & Margolis, 1983; Wiggins & Lederer, 1984), have more permissive attitudes toward love outside of the primary relationship (Lieberman, 1988; Thompson, 1984), and have a stronger desire to engage in infidelity (Prins et al., 1993). In a recent study, Allen and Baucom (2004) found that men with dismissive attachment styles are particularly prone to engage in infidelity.

At the same time, other research suggests that men are only "somewhat" more likely than women to engage in infidelity (Choi et al., 1994), that men and women's rates of infidelity are becoming increasingly similar (Oliver & Hyde, 1993), and that men and women really do not differ in terms of behavior (even though men desire it more; Prins et al., 1993). Wiederman (1997) supports this notion; he found that there are no differences in frequency and types of infidelity for men and women under the age of 40."

Another paragraph about opportunity and infidelity,

"The findings about perceived and actual opportunity leading to a higher incidence of infidelity have important implications for clinical work and recovery. In treatment, it seems that therapists would do well to encourage partners to contain the opportunities for infidelity so that the primary relationship can be the focus (Glass & Wright, 1988). It appears in some cases that opportunity can override the positive aspects of a relationship, and even strong relationships can experience infidelity if the right opportunities come along. Even though research is not conclusive on this point, Glass (2002) convincingly argued that people in good marriages are vulnerable to emotional and sexual infidelity. Blumstein and Schwartz (1983) agree that all couples are vulnerable to infidelity."

Blow, Adrian J., & Hartnett, Kelley (2005) Infidelity in committed relationships II: A substantive review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy [April] http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_q ... _n13641677

you are trying too hard my dear

quatroporte wrote:

kanelli wrote:Here is an online article that reviews research on infidelity. It is 23 pages long... haven't read it all through yet. Very interesting! Maybe none of us know enough about the causes of infidelity... (seems there are too many factors!)

Here is one excerpt about gender and infidelity,

"Some authors strongly assert that more men (when compared with women) engage in infidelity (Alien & Baucom, 2004; Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson, 2001), have significantly more sexual partners outside of their primary relationship (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Spanier & Margolis, 1983; Wiggins & Lederer, 1984), have more permissive attitudes toward love outside of the primary relationship (Lieberman, 1988; Thompson, 1984), and have a stronger desire to engage in infidelity (Prins et al., 1993). In a recent study, Allen and Baucom (2004) found that men with dismissive attachment styles are particularly prone to engage in infidelity.

At the same time, other research suggests that men are only "somewhat" more likely than women to engage in infidelity (Choi et al., 1994), that men and women's rates of infidelity are becoming increasingly similar (Oliver & Hyde, 1993), and that men and women really do not differ in terms of behavior (even though men desire it more; Prins et al., 1993). Wiederman (1997) supports this notion; he found that there are no differences in frequency and types of infidelity for men and women under the age of 40."

Another paragraph about opportunity and infidelity,

"The findings about perceived and actual opportunity leading to a higher incidence of infidelity have important implications for clinical work and recovery. In treatment, it seems that therapists would do well to encourage partners to contain the opportunities for infidelity so that the primary relationship can be the focus (Glass & Wright, 1988). It appears in some cases that opportunity can override the positive aspects of a relationship, and even strong relationships can experience infidelity if the right opportunities come along. Even though research is not conclusive on this point, Glass (2002) convincingly argued that people in good marriages are vulnerable to emotional and sexual infidelity. Blumstein and Schwartz (1983) agree that all couples are vulnerable to infidelity."

Blow, Adrian J., & Hartnett, Kelley (2005) Infidelity in committed relationships II: A substantive review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy [April] http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_q ... _n13641677

you are trying too hard my dear

You mean trying to educate myself on an issue in order to discuss with more authority is "trying too hard"? Okay, I'll have to remember that.