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I'm a bit bored of reading about Islam, It's not very Christmassy is it?

So I thought I'd start a new topic! I wonder if I'm flogging a dead horse?

We were doing a bit of shopping the other evening and was browsing the fruit and veg bit of our brand new Sainsbury's. I'm an Aldi girl myself but I thought I'd have a look.

Beth asked me 'what's the difference between a satsuma and a tangerine?'

Do you know? I couldn't answer her. They both look the same but I thought one looked easier to peel.

We moved onto the veg and she asked me 'what's the difference between a swede and a turnip?'
Another fail on my part. I was starting to get a bit of a complex.

Another what's the difference I've asked myself is 'what's the difference between an Indian and a Pakistani?'
They both come from one country originally, a bit like the English and the Scots and fight over a bit of the original country, Kashmir in their case and Berwick upon Tweed in the British case but apart from that what's the difference?
Yes, one could be a bit lighter and their clothes a bit different, just like the Scots and their kilts and ginga hair but apart from that, what's the difference?
It can't be ones a Muslim and the other isn't, because you can get Indian Muslims.

I can't see much difference but they don't like each other do they? Just like the Scots who wouldn't support the English in the World Cup.

And just an after thought, I couldn't fancy a Sikh in a million years. Not sure if it's the beard or the daft hat.

So anybody out there?

What's the difference between

a) A tangerine and a satsuma
b) a turnip and a swede
c) an Indian and a Pakistani

One is an inanimate brainless object, the others are fruit/vegetables.

Sometimes I despair at the levels of education of my fellow Brits - but I am always glad when people ask questions as there's a hope they actually want to improve themselves by gaining some knowledge.

(BTW - lesson 1 Google is our friend).
Satsumas are part of the Mandarin family, which include Tangerines. Satsumas are usually seedless, tangerines do have seeds, and clementines are seedless tangerines. (To me they look the same though - so not a silly a question.) So, I guess - there's not much difference to look at between them!
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/in ... 758AAmv73F
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandarin_orange
Some photos here -
http://chicosandbeans.blogspot.com/2011 ... erine.html

Swede vs Turnip (and many Brits my age will think of Graham Taylor... )
The difference between swedes & turnips is evident when you see the two side by side. The turnip is smaller, smoother & rounder than the swede. Swedes have a whiter flesh than swedes.
Turnip:

Swede:


(They also taste different.)


Now, let's look at racial differences between inhabitants of India and Pakistan. Well I guess we have to pick somewhere to start - I guess a good place would be the border area between the two countries and see how dis-similar the Indians and Pakistanis are. I guess we'd expect not much difference in that area (a bit like Canada and USA, England and Scotland etc):

Pakistan:





India:


http://pastmists.wordpress.com/2010/06/21/central-asia/

So, racially - not much difference. Of course, when it comes to cricket or wars - they find enough differences between them.


But of course, there are many races in Indian and Pakistan - and Bollywood stars are Indian (Hindu and Muslim), there are Tajiks in Pakistan and in North Eastern India, we have Indians who look like this


We have darker skinned Indian and Pakistanis of course. Here is an Indian for example:



But - let's balance this out. There are attractive Brits (of all races) and there are some who think they are attractive:




Cheers,
Shafique

The anthropologist and the behavioral scientist would call it 'Culture'. Thats what the difference is between an Indian and a Pakistani. There are at least 12 different and distinct languages spoken in Pakistan all belonging to the so-called Indo-European family of languages. The diversity inside the borders of India and Pakistan is so great that I dont think one could really talk of a Pakistani or an Indian in the same way as one would of a Brit or an Australian. The people of Northern and NortWestern Pakistan are so different from those of the Southern parts in dress, language, food, and even beliefs and rituals. No wonder they consider themselves as a different Nation and would like to have thier own country some day. This might happen sooner if the Governmental corruption continues to mess the lives of the people. And thats perhaps the reason for so many secession movements in both India and Pakistan.

An interesting cultural point: a Pathan from NorthWestern Pakistan would rather die than break wind in public! But the Punjabi just across the border in the Punjab thinks nothing of it ;something that sometimes leads to lots of funny stories on both sides of the border (between the Punjab and NortrhWestern Pakistan)
Peace to everyone

I've mentioned in another thread that the variations in India alone mean that someone from Kerala and someone else from Orissa, say, would have more differences than a Swede and a Greek person - yet the former are both Indians.

There is no 'Indian' language, culture or food - but many regional variations. Even Northern and Southern etc are really broad groupings - but we're seeing more of this in restaurants - eg 'Northern Indian cuisine' etc.

India has hundreds of languages to Pakistan's 12 (ish).

What is also interesting is that there is as much variety in China too - there is no one 'Chinese' language, culture or cuisine.

Cheers,

Shafique

Agree with you Shafique. Then add to this recent history: 5 centuries of rule by Moghul Emperors who called themselves Muslim and promoted Islam in India (not the austere and strict Arab Wahabi version that we see now, more Soofism!), followed by 100 or so years of Colonial Brit rule, and then Partition in 1947. The Hindus insisted they didnt want any more domination by the Muslims, and the Muslims still had their delusions of grandeur leading to the formation of Hindu majority India and Muslim Pakistan which many considered as an aristrocratic Moghul enclave. That had its own dynamics.
Peace to all again!

[/quote]

shafique wrote: There are attractive Brits (of all races) and there are some who think they are attractive:

Frankly, apart from the bottle of vodka, I do find her (somewhat) attractive.

^I'd hazard a guess and state that I would think that quite a few of my fellow Brits would also find her attractive (with or without bottle). Indeed, I'd say that this fact may pay a large part in the choice to dress that way. I unfortunately don't speak chav, so I may be wrong though..

Vive la difference, I say.

(Zonker - have you read much by William Dalrymple? I recommend his books - his last few have been about India, and two in particular about the end of the Mughal period. His 'From the Holy Mountain' is great too - about the Mid-East).

Cheers,
Shafique

shafique wrote: I unfortunately don't speak chav, so I may be wrong though..

You don't have to be chav for that.

shafique ,

You see! It's not true what they say about you being a one trick pony is it? See what you can do when you try But Google? well that's well cheating init.
Dillon wouldn't have had to google the difference between an orange and an orance coz he's proper clever. But there again he's like from Yorkshire which is real English init?

--- Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:07 pm ---

FD. You make me laugh!

Psst, never has one man googled so many blondes in the name of research as Shafique! You get me?

--- Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:07 pm ---

zonker , Cheers Zonker! Have a Chivas for me!

--- Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:09 pm ---

Is it me that only has an inquisitive mind? Another what's the difference!

What's the difference between a dwarf and a midget?

What is the difference between;

1. A tangerine and a satsuma?
a. One is pretty pithy and the other full of pips

2. A turnip and a swede?
a. The swede is favoured by the Scots and the Turnip by the Swede’s

3. An Indian and a Pakistani?
a. Absolutely nothing, the Social Welfare and Benefits Offices in Slough, treat them both as one and the same.

4. A Dwarf and a Midget?
a. A Dwarf is an invented person, (a bit like the modern day Palestinian) brought to fame by the Brothers Grimm, (who are a bit like Mahmoud Darwish and Yasser Arafat, as they all made up fairytales). A midget is a popular two seater sports car produced by Morris Garages between 1961 and 1979.

I knew I could rely on you Dillon. You is well clever.

Init!

Hey, I'm all for expanding one's mind - even a stopped clock is right twice a day!

I trust that Dillon is trying to be funny rather than accurate when it comes to Dwarfs and Midgets. Whilst one of the meanings of Dwarf is indeed a mythical creature (like an expert who believes that religion causes honour crimes ) the primary meaning in most dictionaries is

dwarf [dwɔːf]
n pl dwarfs, dwarves [dwɔːvz]
1. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Physiology) an abnormally undersized person, esp one with a large head and short arms and legs Compare midget
..
3. (Myth & Legend / European Myth & Legend) (in folklore) a small ugly manlike creature, often possessing magical powers
..

midget [ˈmɪdʒɪt] 1. (Medicine) a dwarf whose skeleton and features are of normal proportions

(Collins)



(What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.
What do you call a chav in a small box? Innit just.

And by some strange coincidence....
Q) What’s the difference between a chavette and an orange?
A) One’s orange and pimply, the other is an orange
)

Q. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?



Cheers,

Shafique

No you got it wrong again Shaf, it's not just any old religion, it's Muslims who are the vast majority of offenders found guilty of Honour Crimes in the UK, but to be fair, that's for another thread.

Bethsmum wrote: never has one man googled so many blondes in the name of research as Shafique! You get me?

Touche! Ain't that the truth. No-one in here posting more pics of blond women that Shaf.



P.S. Good show Dillon!

--- Sun Dec 18, 2011 4:33 pm ---

shafique wrote:Hey, I'm all for expanding one's mind - even a stopped clock is right twice a day!

I trust that Dillon is trying to be funny rather than accurate when it comes to Dwarfs and Midgets. Whilst one of the meanings of Dwarf is indeed a mythical creature (like an expert who believes that religion causes honour crimes ) the primary meaning in most dictionaries is

dwarf [dwɔːf]
n pl dwarfs, dwarves [dwɔːvz]
1. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Physiology) an abnormally undersized person, esp one with a large head and short arms and legs Compare midget
..
3. (Myth & Legend / European Myth & Legend) (in folklore) a small ugly manlike creature, often possessing magical powers
..

midget [ˈmɪdʒɪt] 1. (Medicine) a dwarf whose skeleton and features are of normal proportions

(Collins)



(What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.
What do you call a chav in a small box? Innit just.

And by some strange coincidence....
Q) What’s the difference between a chavette and an orange?
A) One’s orange and pimply, the other is an orange
)

Q. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?



Cheers,

Shafique

Gee, who invited the fun governor this time?

Dillon - did you notice I had a 'what's the difference' question there for people to answer?

(On honour killings - first I agree it is the wrong thread to be discussing your beliefs, but I understand your belief and I think I tracked down a load of bloggers that agree with you - however, the experts are as elusive as unicorns. But hey, if you believe hard enough, perhaps you'll be able to conjure one?? Who knows, when eh gets a response from Ms Nammi, perhaps you'll get your first expert to agree with you all?? )

And quite predictably, the usual suspects have a collective sense of humour failure! You can tell this when ad hominem attacks start to fly. Right on schedule guys.



Cheers,
Shafique

shafique wrote:And quite predictably, the usual suspects have a collective sense of humour failure! You can tell this when ad hominem attacks start to fly. Right on schedule guys.

Placing smilies doesn't make it funny. Its indeed collective, as your humour doesn't seem to make anybody laugh. But, hey you are special right?

Who made you the funny police? Delusions of grandeur again FD? How do you keep track of all your fantasies?

But hey - perhaps innuendo is the best you can come up with. May be it is just me, but you come across as bitter and twisted - chill out man.

Here's a joke to cheer you up:
Q: What’s the difference between a pipe and a foolish Dutch man?
A: Ones a hollow cylinder the other a silly Hollander



Cheers,
Shafique

shafique wrote:Here's a joke to cheer you up:
Q: What's the difference between a pipe and a foolish Dutch man?
A: Ones a hollow cylinder the other a silly Hollander

Huh???

Is this British humor???

Huh???

Is this British humor???

I hope not! I didn't get any of them But well done Shaf. That's twice in one day I've been impressed And they say Muslims don't have a sense of humour.

I'm off to google the answers.

Who made you the funny police?

BTW I think it's the Fun Police, not the funny Police. They patrol the streets of the Uk.

FD - yes it is British humour.

Another example of the genre is (see if you can work this one out):

Q: What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
A: A jeweler sells watches and a jailer watches cells.

Cheers,
Shafique

BM,

You asked about the difference between a dwarf and a midget. Allow me to enlighten you: in both conditions, there is short stature ;technically it has been defined as 4'10" or less. In a dwarf this short stature is further accompanied by disproportionate limbs to trunk ratio (e.g achondroplasia), and usually dwarfism is due to a pre existing medical condition. Whereas, a midget is one who is just of small stature, without the medical problem or disproportion.

Now, whether a dwarf, or a midget, or otherwise 'vertically challenged' (provided they are not challenged in the mental department), I like those with guts and to punch above their weight and size! Who knows where that might land them? Strive valiantly, as someone said, and you will know the triumph of high achievements!

BTW, many inches can be added to one's height by limb-lengthening surgery now a days, but this is only recommended for certain Medical conditions. However, cowboy surgeons and fly-by-night practitioners have sprouted all over China and certain other countries, with sometimes tragic results.

I'll remember to have an extra Chivas in my next session with the Spirits!

Thank you Dr Zonker! You have just reminded me that I'm not fat, I'm just a bit of a midget Limb lengthening surgery? I shall but it on my list for Santa.

Excellent idea!

Shafique, you are trying to turn my topic into a dodgy joke one. I'll have you know my 'what's the differences' are a serious matter!

Here's one for you Shaf.
What's the difference between a Sunni and a Shi'ite?

I always think of Ben's explanation about the weather, it's either sunni or shite So seriously what's the difference? Keep it short, I lose interest after 5 minutes!
And why the difference in the spelling of Mohammed, Muhammed. Muhammad and Mohamed?
As far as I know there's only one way to spell Jesus and that's Jesus.

And anyone else out there?
What's the difference between mist and fog?

This has played a great part in the source of my amusement tonight:-)

Sandstormlady ,

If you were amused and had a chuckle at all this, you will be required to pay a $10/- donation
This goes towards the welfare of old Forumers

Well, no one offered up an answer to the question:
Q. What's the difference between a chav and coconut?

Let me give you the answer:
A. Ones thick and hairy and the other is a coconut.

Ok - let's deal with your serious questions:

Bethsmum wrote:Here's one for you Shaf.
What's the difference between a Sunni and a Shi'ite? ...Keep it short, I lose interest after 5 minutes!
..
And why the difference in the spelling of Mohammed, Muhammed. Muhammad and Mohamed?
..
As far as I know there's only one way to spell Jesus and that's Jesus.

Short answers:
Sunni and Shi'ite - started off as a political division within Islam when one group of Muslims did not want to recognise the first 3 leaders of Muslims after the death of the Prophet and considered only the 4th, Ali, to be the legitimate leader. These are Shi'ites. Both Sunni and Shi'ites are divided into a number of sects (over 100 in total).

It is like the division of Christianity between Roman Catholics and Protestants (Or Orthodox Eastern Christianity and Western Christianity).

Question 2
Different spellings of Muhammad are due to the fact the name is Arabic. There is only one way to spell his name in Arabic - but different translations of the way to spell it. Same with Dubai. Some maps show it as Dubay. Nowadays, Muhammad is the commonest rendering of the name.

Jesus' name
Jesus is only spelled as Jesus in English because it is an accepted spelling - but Jesus is not what Jesus was called.. No one whilst Jesus was alive called him by the name 'Jesus'. His mother and disciples etc spoke Aramaic and the name is Hebrew and was 'Yeshua'. This name is translated into English as either Joshua, Jeshua or Jesus.

Jesus is derived from Latin version Greek translations of Yeshua.

Other variations are:

Arabic 'Isa عسى (Islamic) / Yasū'(a) يسوع (Christian)
Catalan Jesús
Chinese 耶稣 Yesu (Mandarin), Yasu (Cantonese)
Indonesia Yesus (Christian) / Isa (Islamic)
Spanish Jesús
Greek Ιησούς;
Hebrew Yeshu ישו (Jewish, secular) / Yeshua יֵשׁוּעַ (Christian)
Italian Gesù
Polish Jezus
Russian Иисус (Iisus)


Cheers,
Shafique

Its always funny when some Pakistanis go on and on about how they are Aryans and are "Central Asians" or of "Persian/Arab/Greek/Scandinavian" descent, and that they have nothing racially in common with Indians.

Then they go around (not you Shafique:) )posting pics of a minority of Pakistanis from Kalash (?)/Nuristan who have blonde features claiming that is what Pakistanis look like and then post pics of dark South Indians

pretty insecure bunch

Well, I'm not Pakistani as my ancestors left India in the 19th century before there was a Pakistan and my parents immigrated to Britain in the 60s. In this thread, the poster with Pakistani heritage/links was quite factual about the diverse races within Pakistan - and any mention of darker skins applied to both Pakistanis and Indians. So at least the contributions in this thread don't seem to be about any insecurity..

But hey, perhaps the Pakistanis that talk about 'Indians' also need to be educated about the diversity of ethnic races within India.

Cheers,

Shafique

I wasnt meaning you, its just that the pics reminded me of other forums where i have seen such discussions of how Pakistanis are 99% genetically different from Indians along with the full load of pics comparing the 2