As a normally self confessed Luddite, I have just become the proud owner of a shiny Star Trek Next Generation Apple iPad 3...
I have shuffled around the sitting room in my tartan slippers idly swiping my fingers across the screen and mumbling such platitudes as "Data, can you check the dilithium crystal degeneration in core 2" or tapping the apps and saying "Make it so.." yet I still do not feel fully fulfilled.
Its a very nice piece of kit but I have yet to find out what it actually does.
I can read my emails (yawn, the Blackberry spends 24 hours a day going 'bling bling bling')
It has my entire iTunes library, but then so does the ever so tiny iPod that clips to my shirt front and gives me ACDC or Juliana Down wherever I go.
I could use it as a phone, but then I would look like the Twenty Tweens version of the 1980s dude with a beat box on his shoulder.
It has 'games' but the games I remember require one to put on shorts and run around a field pointlessly chasing a leather bladder filled with air. The only part of me that would benefit would be my finger. I might have the fittest finger in Dubai!
I could use the camera, but I prefer to look through a lens rather than holding something up in front of me like a shield.
The scariest thing is being able to talk in real time video to someone using Facetime...even when I am in the toilet!
So what the hell is the purpose of this sleek little tablet thingy?
A confused and technologically sceptical old Knight.
Knight