) a warrning that this is not for serious debate!Well tomorrow BM has a very long day indeed. She may be a thick head but has been entrusted with a polling station in the UK.
Note to DDS. A Polling Station is somewhere, where you go to vote. Probably not somewhere you've encountered before, but they do exist!
The Polling Station is open from 7am till 10pm, a very long day indeed!
There are two polls going on tomorrow in BM's station. A district election and a referendum on the AV. For those not familiar with the UK system, this is the Alternitive Vote referendum. BM has been advised not to advise anyone on the AV system, and this suits as I don't really understand it myself but have voted NO in my postal vote.
As for the district election, we have two candidates. One of the candidates is the current Councillor. A man in is 70's, a sweetie really but in the first stages of Altzeimers. BM has known 'said Councillor' for a number of years so made allowances when he slapped my backside in the pub last Friday night. I won't be voting for him. He is an independant.
The opposing gadgy is someone BM has had a run in with, at work, over his reluctance to pay tax due. I won't be voting for him either. He's a Liberal Democrat.
So my vote will be wasted, no BNP candidate, no BM vote
Anyways, It will be a boring day so as ladies are, it will be a very hungry day. I have been to the Co-Op tonight for supplies!
I have Weetabix for breakfast at 7.10am, just after I have declared this Polling Station OPEN! No Champagne and no Chardonnay, DK will be pleased to hear!
Coffee at 8.30 accompanied by a KitKat. I will be starving at this stage. Probably no voters and I will have read last weeks OK, so BM's mind will wander to her stomach.
BY 10am I will be ravenous so will have a strawberry Slimfast. I love them! They are slimming aswell! Magic!
By 10.30 I will have attempted to tune my portable TV into anything going, even the Jeremy Kyle Show. It won't work, it never does. The hills of the Lake District prevent any civilised communication.
I expect by 11am I will have entertained 50% of the people intending to vote, about 10 in total.
12 midday will bring on lunch! Thank God! Bm's sugar levels will have dropped and I will be near death. Bring on the Heinz Tomato soup! A saviour!
I will attempt to listen to the News at One, a picture is out of the question so I will have to visualise Mohammed Obama explain why they shot cousin Osama in the eye when he wasn't armed. That should be fun.
Converasation will be wearing thin at this stage. BM will have given her life story at least 15 times by now to the voters, laughed at jokes that make DK's look funny and listened to more stories that even Chocs can make up. Time for more food, BM thinks!
An afternoon KitKat or two later i will be sick of sweets and will turn to my cheese crisps for comfort. I also have a packet of Slimfast cheesey nibbles to tuck away if I'm feeling fat,
This takes BM to the rush hour of 5 till 6 when I may have two voters, they will probably come in together, a bit like buses, wait for one and two come together.
By 7pm I will have completed all the paperwork, I will have anticipated how many votes have been cast and will be giving anyone who ventures in during Eastenders the evil eye.
At 8pm I will have tea, dinner or supper, whatever you want to call it, depending on where you are from in the UK. It will be a tin of Heinz Vegetable Soup followed by a yoghurt, and a KitKat if I'm still bored.
I will be getting excited by 9pm with dreams of a glass of toilet cleaner! I mean Chardonnay, when I'm finished! I'm not nearly as sophisticated as that silly old duffer DK! He likes French stuff, me? I prefer the real I am! (Herve
) I digress!At 9.50 BM will be packed up and ready to roll (Kick to the curb as Chocs would say
) the BM will be revving up and the key in the lock at 10pm! As is always i will get some silly old sod in at 9.58 to vote and i will have to tippex all my numbers to accomodate. I hate old people nearly as much as bloody kids (except my beautiful Beth of course!)BM will have to take her votes to the Leisure Centre to be counted. Last year I was first past the post and won a Mars Bar for my efforts. I want to do the same this year! of course I will donate the Mars bar to Beth. I can't eat that! A life time on the lips is worth a life time on the hips.
