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Life is precious because it is unique.

Each one of us wants to hang on to it till the very last. An 86 year old is as keen to live as a 26 year year old.

Our brains, and our whole psyche is designed to relish each approaching moment. The 86 year old knows most of his life is behind him/her, and yet he/she is keen to experience more of what life has to offer. We all look to the future because most of us, if we've been lucky, have had good experiences in the past, and would like more of the same.

Great philosophers like Plato have told us that we feel the world with our senses: of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. Scientific research has only confirmed this and have shown us that all this information collected by our senses is conveyed to the brain, where a perception of reality is built. It is still being debated whether knowledge is just the sum of the sensations, or knowledge happens inside our brains because of reasoning etc.

So, it is obvious that there is a strong link between our physical health (of the nerves and the brain etc.) and our sense of well being. As the Greeks of antiquity told us, a sound mind and a sound body go together!

Here is some interesting advice from a 97 year old Japanese Doctor, who is still very active in pursuing his career. His experiences bear out the saying do what you love, and you'll love what you do!

However, I dont think it is the number of years that you live that is important, but the quality of the life that you have lived.

Do you agree? And what do you think is a "good life"?

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/text/fl20090129jk.html

I think I've had a pretty good life. It's been a rocky road sometimes but I wouldn't change that much of it. I didn't make a very good choice for a husband when I was 18 but I gave it my best shot and I don't regret getting married to him.
I never regret anything but try to learn from my mistakes, and there has been quite a few. I can look back at some stuff and think that I can't believe I did that. I shock myself sometimes
There are two things I would change if I could go back and they are illnesses that both my elder children suffered.
One had septic arthritis when she was 5, it was very painful for her and that's a horrible thing for a mother to see her child in pain and my second daughter had a brain infection when she was 21. That changed the course of her life totally.
Apart from that, yes, I've had a great life and hope I will live it to the full till my times up.
Oh and if I get a lottery win, that will be the topping on the cake.

Yes, I agree with all that you say there .
I have come to the conclusion that there are two main kinds of people on planet Earth: those that have a happy disposition right from birth, and you cannot dampen their spirits no matter what; and then there are those that will moan and moan and be miserable even under the best of circumstances.
As for the lottery, I plan to win one too! The only thing is I've never got around to buying the ticket (except once last year!)

Frequentflier wrote:Here is some interesting advice from a 97 year old Japanese Doctor, who is still very active in pursuing his career. His experiences bear out the saying do what you love, and you'll love what you do!

I couldnot imagine doing work I donot like.

Do you agree?

I prefer to have a happy fulfilling life.

And what do you think is a "good life"?

Family life, spending time with friends and experiencing the world, its nature, history and its people.

FlyingDutchman wrote:I prefer to have a happy fulfilling life.

Yes FD, but for most of us the perception of " a happy and fulfilling life" changes as we grow.

I remember when I was about 8 or 9 years old I discovered Playboy Magazine in my Uncle's house who was about 10 years older than me. He had hidden them well, but apparently not well enough. I cant tell you how thrilled I was. I would be a frequent visitor to his house, and would secretly go to the cabinet where he had tucked the Playboys under some Engineering books. That was so fulfilling for me at the time, but only for a few years .

Then, impressed by what I was fed by the media and James Bond movies, I thought that would be the life! Life in the fast lane and probably a fast death! Booze, cars, and the other things that go with it. But I realized very soon, you can get all of that, but it feels pretty empty after some time.

Extreme hard work, and overcoming adversity, a few good friends, and doing something for those that I love and actually "giving" them something, have been fulfilling pursuits for me. That's my take on things.
But the race is long. I still might discover that I've been wrong.
But, I have no regrets

Frequentflier wrote:I have come to the conclusion that there are two main kinds of people on planet Earth: those that have a happy disposition right from birth, and you cannot dampen their spirits no matter what; and then there are those that will moan and moan and be miserable even under the best of circumstances.

Perhaps they are the same categories, but I see two kinds of people, people who take energy from you when you meet them and those that give energy to others because they are so energetic and/or positive. I am allergic to the first category (the high-maintanance, self-rightious, entitled group of people), they are a majority though. The last category tends to be easy-going and non-judgemental.
I donot believe in destiny as so much, but I do believe there is a certain inevitability to who we have close to us, our environment, and what we do. Positive energy attracks positivity and vica versa. That might be what others call karma.
You say people are who they are since birth. I disagree, we are who we are because of the first 4 to 6 years of our life. Our core-character is made in those years. You might be able to change a thing or two, but the core-self will not change. Experiences might change us, but then again how we react to experiences and whether we learn from them depends on our character. Most people tend to repeat the same mistakes.
Sometimes other people might change us. I know that if it wasnot for meeting my wife I would have ended up in the guther.
I have had periods when I lived in the "fast lane". Cars never did anything for me, but hey a lifestyle of party and pretty people all around is very attracktive. I still like to party, but in moderation. I still am friends with some people from the party lifestyle, and they are great people. They are more open minded then others, have life experience as they went to a thing or two, had to fight for something, and have a certain wisdom. But the closer you get to the cliff, the easier it is to fall of the cliff. I have a few regrets, but I hope I learnt from them.

FlyingDutchman wrote:You say people are who they are since birth. I disagree, we are who we are because of the first 4 to 6 years of our life. Our core-character is made in those years

Good points FD!

I forget what it is we were discussing initially, I have rambled on so much .
But here goes some more!

I think I was unable to make myself clear. I think a person's nature is formed even before birth. A human is a composite of so many factors: genes, where one is born, the culture one is born into, and finally the family and one's parents. Even the language you are born into makes you a different person. Eg were you to be born in England instead of Holland, you would have been a very different person!
However, it has been a personal observation of mine when looking at very small infants how they seem to have a "character" of their own! That for some other discussion at another time.

Freud was the first to give us a glimpse of the human psyche. He did say that the human personality went through a number of different stages. At the very beginning, in the first few months all that the infant wanted was to be fed and clothed and changed etc., but soon learned that somehow he/she was important by the behavior of those around him, and so a stage was reached that he called the stage of narcissism. In this the person loves only himself. A mature and well rounded personality is ultimately formed after passing through all these stages. However, for various reasons, the personality can get arrested at any stage of development. And this can lead to childish and abnormal behavior into adulthood. In some cases, not all, that might lead to unfulfilled expectations of life.

We all know people who are still dancing the funky chicken well into their extreme middle age! And seem to enjoy it! Well, good luck to them!

Frequentflier wrote:so a stage was reached that he called the stage of narcissism.

A narcissist is somebody who didnot develop a sense of self. Either because the child wasnot cared for, or was cared for too much. A third category, but this is my opinion, are children from lovedovey parents from the 60's. The child was taught that s/he was special no matter what. Of course for a parent a child is special, but for the rest of the world, that has to be earned. I think the lovedovey parents from the 60's raised a lot of brats that way.
I would say THE most important thing a child has to learn is that it is its own person. This starts from the age of around 1 1/2 if it is raised correctly. Children who are not allowed to be themselves (think about parents 'forcing' a child to be a doctor or a lawyer), or children who didnot go through the loving and caring (and where not able to mirror a good example) the first 1 1/2 years are prone to become narcissists. They donot have a strong sense of self, but also donot see others as independent people, instead they see others as extensions of them. Agreement of others is crucial for narcissists. They hunger symbioses (to make themselves whole again). Non-agreement means annihilation of themselves. Agreement is a battle for life. Narcissists donot maintain proper boundaries with others.
Of course narcissists come in many shapes and forms, but they all are manipulative and emotional vampires (they feed from the energy of others because they donot have any themselves).
That said, there is also 'good' narcissism. We live in a narcissist world, where narcissism is admired is some way. However, when we talk about narcissism, we in general mean 'bad' narcissism, the personality disorder. In general narcissists are high-functioning people. This makes self-awareness of narcissists impossible, because hey, they are successful in this world. But that is the narcissist mask. They cannot take the mask off, because of a lack of self. Taking the mask of means annihilation to them (because there is nothing under it). Narcissism only gets worse by the years, resulting in the grumpy old man who thinks the world evolves around him. A narcissist is an emotional stunted person, a child of between 4 and 6.
But you are absolutely right IMO that a personality is formed by genes and the environment (apart from the parents).
The Greek myth about Narcissis and Echo was spot on, and many lessons can be learned from that myth.