1) Is it recommended we learn some basic arabic prior to applying (ie take an online language course to obtain credentials?) Does this make us more attractive to employers?
No and no, as you're unlikely to learn anything substantial or useful without intensive tuition.
2) We hear it is realtively cheap to buy goods in Dubai (ie clothes, food, appliances etc etc). As such, is it basically a case of packing your clothes and that's it? Any thoughts on shipping stuff which is hard to obtain in Dubai?
You can get everything here. Unless you plan to buy and furnish a house here, and sell your existing home, there's no need to ship applicances or furniture.
3) What is the typical shelf life for expats who move to Dubai? (where we are, most expats seem to last 2-3 years) What is the general reasons why people do leave?
I would say 2-5 years. People leave because their jobs end, they are homesick, or just sick of Dubai.
4) Although we don't have kids, considering having the better half pop some out soon. Will the "missus" get the pink slip after her belly appears rotund or are employers generally cool with mat leave etc? Does full medical/insurance cover things for hospital stays?
Depends on the employer and what kind of maternity leave your wife wants. It may have to be unpaid. If she only plans to take a few weeks off and then go for full-time childcare there is likely to be more sympathy with employers than if she wants six months off.
5) We have read about the driving. Is it better to drive a fast car (to keep up with traffic) or drive a hummer/sport utility to keep us alive after we get into an inevitable crash up.
SUVs are safer. If you're careful, you can avoid most crashes.
6) Dubai is close to many cool places to visit. Do local travel agents offer weekend package get away rates/specials to expat residents?
Yes and no. The airlines do come up with offers, but ticket prices here are extortionate compared to what you could get flying out of London. Also, even if there is a super cheap fare, you will still pay hundreds of dirhams per person in taxes. You can of course drive to Oman, or other parts of the UAE. But there is nothing comparable to the bargain-bin cheap flight deals you get in "normal" countries.
7) Is there a lot of involvement with government "ie laws and regs" that affect conduct of business in private sector. ie red tape.
Yes, but hopefully your company will have a good PRO (=public relations officer, nothing to do with public relations in the media sense) who can handle this for you. They visit all the various departments and get everything signed. They can also help out with personal red tape stuff, but in this instance I would tip them (they don't earn that much usually).
8) What's the general breakdown of expats by region?? (ie Brits, Aussie's, yanks etc etc)
Majority population here is subcontinental Asian (Indian and Pakistani) followed by non-GCC arabs. Then it's Brits, other Europeans, and then Australians, Canadians, South Africans, Americans etc.
9) We understand no "adult" entertainment. Is the internet filtered as well? Is there general censorship?
*weeps*
Google "etislat proxy". Enough said.
10) What is considered severe/harsh weather in Dubai outside of the heat? Do you get a lot of rain/windstorms in the city.
Lots of dust, but not so much duststorms. Hardly any rain ever. Harsh heat would be 40c plus, but it is that level most of the summer. It's also very humid here in the summer months - don't get any ideas of "dry desert heat", it's coastal here. Winter months are glorious though.
11) How is the scuba diving?
Not an expert here, but there are some reefs and wrecks off the east coast (Fujairah, Musandam, Oman). If you visit Aqaba, Jordan you can dive in the Red Sea - the corals are outstanding.
12) What should we expect in benefits package as a working couple with seven yrs in our prospective line of work (north america/offshore)? What is best general guess for starting salaries?
It totally depends what field of work you're in, and what level of management, etc. You would struggle to lead a comfortable life on anything less than Dh15,000 combined. If you both work, then as long as you each earn minimum Dh12,000, you'll be fine. And you should be able to earn quite a bit more, but again it all depends on your profession.
13) How good are the restaurants (eating well is a hobby) Is cuisine from around the world available? How good is the local cuisine? How much does a falafel usually go for?
Masses and masses of restaurants here, so variety is no problem. However, in terms of ultra-fine-dining, if you're a Michelin type person, you'll be very disappointed.
In terms of world food, very often the best restaurants are the smaller (ie non-hotel) restaurants that can be almost embarrassingly cheap. But only hotel restaurants serve alcohol. If you can cope with soft drinks, you have a world of choice. The other limitation is traffic: most small restaurants are in densely populated city areas such as Deira and Karama. If you are living in "new Dubai" - Lakes/Marina/Meadows etc (ie south of the city) it's almost impossible to get into the City in the evening, because of the Dubai-Sharjah commute. A falafel could be had for a few dirhams.
The local cuisine - if one means Emirati - is rather limited. Most of it is borrowed from general Arab cuisine (eg Lebanon, Iran). Think lots of mixed grills, lamb/mutton, rice. Milk and cheese-based puddings, with sticky nutty Arabic "sweets" (pastries). Your best bet for Arabic is an excellent, quite cheap chain of Lebanese restaurants called Automatic. For Indian/Pakistani food you'll be spoilt for choice - assuming you can get into Karama or Deira. Some of the shopping malls have quite good, mid-market restaurants as well.