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Been away from DF for a while, and when I check back tonight, I’m greeted by a number of “cheerful” topics about suicide, payment default, racism, arrest and torture, cruelty to animals, someone giving the bird, …etc.

C’mon guys… !!! We come to DF to escape hearing about bad news, and to have a little fun or share a laugh or two!!

To bring the fun back to DF…..let me start off with a joke that I heard last night from one of my drinking buddies, which made me let out one big, MF..ing, loud, laugh!!

Yes... I sure love to always laugh....even at stooopid jokes!!!!!



Telephone rings late at night...

Wife goes to answer the phone...

Husband: "If it’s for me, just say that I am not at home"

Wife answers: "Yes, he is home"

Husband: "WTF….Woman!!?"


Wife: ''Calm down dear. It was for me'!!

Well Tom! I had welcomed you back and gave you a lecture about DF being about Dubai based topics and serious topics at that! We are only allowed to talk about suicide and any mention of Chardonnay and the shag pile is a strict NO NO, but I didn't save my post so it's gone into cyberspace LOL

I have a joke. It won't fit K's or Choc's idea of a joke but what the hell?

I was thrown out of our local book store tonight.
Apparantly, it's not acceptable to move Kate McCanns book to the Murder Mystery section!

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife in bed waiting for him.

Taking his jacket off and opening the closet door, he finds a naked man standing there.

"What the hell are you doing in there?" He asks,

The naked man looks a little sheepish and says "Er...checking for moths!"

"But you are totally naked!" Says the husband.

The man looks down...


"The little b*stards! Your infestation is worse than I thought!"



Knight

Through a scheduling mix up, a man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. It's late, the train is full, and everyone else is already asleep. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."

"Why not," giggles the woman.

"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

.................................................................................................................................
PS:
I didnt add any smileys for many reasons, but mainly I hope you will know where the punch line is!

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.

-- Sat May 14, 2011 10:21 am --

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"




A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his banana. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

Hold on Tommy J. I got another one coming. Call it depression or oppression, one way or the other: Madam Liberty just left the building completely. After all, the private sector does things so much more effective than any government bureacracy ever could...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/world ... ml?_r=2&hp

Dubai residents can cry if they want to.

Secret Desert Force Set Up by Blackwater’s Founder:

The force is intended to conduct special operations missions inside and outside the country, defend oil pipelines and skyscrapers from terrorist attacks and put down internal revolts, the documents show. Such troops could be deployed if the Emirates faced unrest or were challenged by pro-democracy demonstrations in its crowded labor camps or democracy protests like those sweeping the Arab world this year.

The so called contract: http://www.boingboing.net/2011/05/14/Sc ... t-7.30.jpg

All smile now.

A man & woman r in a car, about to have 6ex.
Woman says, "I forgot to mention earlier, I'm a Pro$titute & I charge £30 for 6ex." Silently he paid.
After 6ex the guy lights a cigarette & just sits there.
She asks him, "Why r u not driving?"
He says, "I forgot to tell u that I'm a Taxi Driver, & its £35 to go back to town.."
Moral of the story!!
men are Always Smarter After 6ex

@Robby, nothing new, these things have been going on for years. Although I wouldn't want to be in the shoes of those that spilled the beans!

RobbyG wrote:Hold on Tommy J. I got another one coming. Call it depression or oppression, one way or the other: Madam Liberty just left the building completely. After all, the private sector does things so much more effective than any government bureacracy ever could...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/world ... ml?_r=2&hp

Dubai residents can cry if they want to.

Secret Desert Force Set Up by Blackwater’s Founder:

The force is intended to conduct special operations missions inside and outside the country, defend oil pipelines and skyscrapers from terrorist attacks and put down internal revolts, the documents show. Such troops could be deployed if the Emirates faced unrest or were challenged by pro-democracy demonstrations in its crowded labor camps or democracy protests like those sweeping the Arab world this year.

The so called contract: http://www.boingboing.net/2011/05/14/Sc ... t-7.30.jpg

All smile now.

Well.... I really don't see anything wrong with what they're doing. I might do it myself if I was in their place!!

It's called survival, mate!

Anyhow.....Nice seeing you back Robby....We missed you, Dude.....Hope you stick around longer this time!!!

Many countries do this now. It was just all the cloak and dagger stuff with Erik Prince really I think. However, for them to actually publish copies of the contracts and visas/permits, satellite images/photos of the base, isn't a smart move really.

Very interesting read Robby. Although no surprises there right? I guess Cheney is back in business.

Bora Bora wrote:Very interesting read Robby. Although no surprises there right? I guess Cheney is back in business.

LOL more than likely. What makes me laugh is the whole 'American led' thing. yeah ok, please take note of the paragraph where it says some were hired, then promptly fired.

And seems quite a few Colombians were sent back for drug abuse?? WHAT?? Do you think the chef was smuggling it in??

Well it seems they have a huge complex out there.

You would think that they had prosties in AD, but the bring them to Dubai. Bigger selection?? Rather than bus the guys in to Dubai, why not build a boom boom room on the complex and bus the girls in?? Blind fold them, drive around in circles for a few hours, bring them to the boom boom room and then repeat for the return.

What happens in the boom boom room stays in the boom boom room, rather than getting p*ss drunk, arrested in Dubai, and have to explain it to Abu Dhabi.

LOL funny. I don't know about the hooker thing, but you know, you can't keep the guys locked up in the base, they have to be let out for some r&r every now and again.

The Chef was probably making a 'special' soup

I cannot believe the detail they've gone into though. It's a bit silly.

When the revolutions in the MENA region spread to Bahrain recently, the UAE, but Saudi Arabia (Eastern part, with the oil, is largely Shia populated) in particular became sh!t scared that the people in their countries would revolt also. I've seen the first Saudi protests in the street already.

I don't know if you guys seen the images and videos that are out there on the net, but ffs, what happened in Bahrain was outright killing of civilians, just like Syria is sniping its own residents at this moment. Cries for freedom are forbidden.

The UAE has now reacted with private contractors to stem the possible unrest and 'terrorist' threat. Its all about maintaining control and power. US interest in the region are huge, so there's a firm cooperation between Abu Dhabi and the USA on this matter. The common enemy is Shia Iran. Or so it is sold to the public.

Parties involved are afraid that Iran might support the cries for democracy in Shia populated countries like Bahrain. In geostrategic circles on the internet, the view goes that if Bahrain falls, the wildfire would spread to Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia responded by sending in the troops to Bahrain. I've seen video's of people walking right into the automatic gunfire. See the video below for an impression what happens all over the MENA region these days. I won't show the bloody mess i've seen. Goes beyond your wildest dreams...

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDKruSCu ... re=related

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUOmtjb3 ... re=related

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwnUQcKX ... e=youtu.be

But this company was formed and the troops, trainers etc were brought in long before all the unrest kicked off.

Saudi Arabia spread something like $53 million around to the people to keep the peace. With the way the Saudis spend $53 million isn't going to go very far. That's like chump change to them.

RobbyG wrote:Hold on Tommy J. I got another one coming. Call it depression or oppression, one way or the other: Madam Liberty just left the building completely. After all, the private sector does things so much more effective than any government bureacracy ever could...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/world ... ml?_r=2&hp

Dubai residents can cry if they want to.

Secret Desert Force Set Up by Blackwater’s Founder:

The force is intended to conduct special operations missions inside and outside the country, defend oil pipelines and skyscrapers from terrorist attacks and put down internal revolts, the documents show. Such troops could be deployed if the Emirates faced unrest or were challenged by pro-democracy demonstrations in its crowded labor camps or democracy protests like those sweeping the Arab world this year.

The so called contract: http://www.boingboing.net/2011/05/14/Sc ... t-7.30.jpg

All smile now.

Heyy Robby, welcome back! How have you been?

I'm doing great again Melika. Thanks for asking!

Alot has happened in a year, especially in the MENA region. Trying to find out if you guys received any news of what happens in the region...

I will send you a PM!