How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted a several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
Straight through the rib cage.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened