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Today I met many Very important people. Driving along the Emirates Road in the rain this morning, I was amazed by the number of imporant people on the road. They could be characterised as the people driving past me off lane, flashing their hazard lights, flashing their headlamps and beeping thier horns. They must be very important people in a hurry to get to veyr important meetings to pass me at such speeds when the driving conditions were so bad this morning.

What I'd like to know is ow do i become so important? Perhaps when i am that important my landload might be inclined to do something about the many leaks and faulty electrical connections!!

Don't be mistaking the added attention as though you're important... far from it, it was just because you were being a moron and driving like a nanny in the left lanes. If you're not used to driving in such conditions then stay at home and wait for the sunshine or take the bus.

When i'm driving like a nanny i'll be glad of the attention, maybe then I'll have found some friends and I can stop wearing my "Billy No-mates" T-shirt.

And I must remember that the next time i'm doing 120 as i pass in the left lane two lanes of buses and trucks; that i'm obviously not as important as everyone else and i should stay off the roads to help these important people and their friends, who are obviously full of awe and respect.