Dubai Forums Dubai Discussions Dubai General Chat

Hilarious…!!!


In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:





Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.



Here is a guide to the point system:



SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return
with

Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy

(-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)

Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)



HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the

colours of your favourite team (-10)



A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)



ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)



COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks

like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

10/10, Jeevan. Go to the top of the class.

haha good job jeevan

So very true...

LOL Jeev u r still trying to solve the riddle...woman is the biggest mystery in this world..

bonitta wrote:LOL Jeev u r still trying to solve the riddle...woman is the biggest mystery in this world..

I guess i already have

nice one jeev

Jeevan wrote:

bonitta wrote:LOL Jeev u r still trying to solve the riddle...woman is the biggest mystery in this world..

I guess i already have

Nice one jeves


agree bonita... they are the biggest mystery... but you can get a little bit of insight that helps a lot.


You can choose to listen to me or not guys... I've been single for about 8 years with short term (few and far between) relationships, yet have serious confirmed accurate knowledge of the mystery that is woman.

I just haven't figured out how to use it in a controlled manner. According to customer feed back, I drive them away by figuring them out and letting them know too soon. To quote an ex:

"I couldn't continue to be with you because you got into my head"

Knowledge is a double edged sword folks. Even though of all the things I know, I am only certain of the fact that I know nothing.

i dont know dude, most women dont know what they want

remember i used the word "most".....

Uncannily accurate....never thought of it like that before!

As a gender we are definately hard to please.....

Bleakus wrote:i dont know dude, most women dont know what they want

remember i used the word "most".....

Sterotyping but true...Women never know what they want...until

a. it is staring at them in the face
b. they have lost it and will not suceed in getting it back - so can't have it
c. thought they wanted it, gave it away, saw someone else happy with them and realised it was what they wanted all along
d. realised the other party is getting on fine without them
e...........I am sure there are many more out there...just can't think of it right know

Well done J

so very true... makes me glad i'm not a guy sounds like far to much hassle.

Lou wrote:

Bleakus wrote:i dont know dude, most women dont know what they want

remember i used the word "most".....

Sterotyping but true...Women never know what they want...until

a. it is staring at them in the face
b. they have lost it and will not suceed in getting it back - so can't have it
c. thought they wanted it, gave it away, saw someone else happy with them and realised it was what they wanted all along
d. realised the other party is getting on fine without them
e...........I am sure there are many more out there...just can't think of it right know

sssshhhh thats supposed to be some sort of code....your not supposed to share it with anyone, specially with guys!!!

Lou wrote:Uncannily accurate....never thought of it like that before!

As a gender we are definately hard to please.....

pleasing is not the hard part dude

haha Jeevan

Lou wrote:Sterotyping but true...Women never know what they want...until

a. it is staring at them in the face

PLEASE! Even when it's staring them in the face they are unsure.

Lou wrote:b. they have lost it and will not suceed in getting it back - so can't have it

Agreed, women want things they can not have. But so do men, so this is a moot point.

Lou wrote:c. thought they wanted it, gave it away, saw someone else happy with them and realised it was what they wanted all along

This is simply a rewording of point B, so please see my reply there.

Lou wrote:d. realised the other party is getting on fine without them

This is all part of the game. Men play the game too, just with less cunning.

You must be a dude.


Note:

I acknowledge that I am generalizing here. For those among you who do not know me yet, I fully acknowledge that no two people are exactly the same, man or woman. However, groups of people can be prone to the same behavior in certain situations. Consider this a disclaimer, I will not be flamed for generalization because I do not generalize... often.

bear wrote:

Lou wrote:Sterotyping but true...Women never know what they want...until

a. it is staring at them in the face

PLEASE! Even when it's staring them in the face they are unsure.

Lou wrote:b. they have lost it and will not suceed in getting it back - so can't have it

Agreed, women want things they can not have. But so do men, so this is a moot point.

Lou wrote:c. thought they wanted it, gave it away, saw someone else happy with them and realised it was what they wanted all along

This is simply a rewording of point B, so please see my reply there.

Lou wrote:d. realised the other party is getting on fine without them

This is all part of the game. Men play the game too, just with less cunning.
quote]


LOL....fair enough....everyone allowed thier own view point....makes sense if you are a woman as a guy you may not get it (no offence intended).......but I undertand how the rewording part may look..but each is valid to a different situation...and there is a distinct difference in losing something and giving it away ...and the giving away you can generally get it back if you admit your mistakes ...the losing but is meant to be your fault so you generally can't get it back. !!

i'm with lou on this one

zam wrote:

Lou wrote:

Bleakus wrote:i dont know dude, most women dont know what they want

remember i used the word "most".....

Sterotyping but true...Women never know what they want...until

a. it is staring at them in the face
b. they have lost it and will not suceed in getting it back - so can't have it
c. thought they wanted it, gave it away, saw someone else happy with them and realised it was what they wanted all along
d. realised the other party is getting on fine without them
e...........I am sure there are many more out there...just can't think of it right know

sssshhhh thats supposed to be some sort of code....your not supposed to share it with anyone, specially with guys!!!

Sorry PLEASE ignore all you have read!

Lou wrote:LOL....fair enough....everyone allowed thier own view point....makes sense if you are a woman as a guy you may not get it (no offence intended).......but I undertand how the rewording part may look..but each is valid to a different situation...and there is a distinct difference in losing something and giving it away ...and the giving away you can generally get it back if you admit your mistakes ...the losing but is meant to be your fault so you generally can't get it back. !!

Ok, thats something I misinterpreted. I grant you that there is a very distinct difference between losing and giving away. I may have read through your post a little too quickly as a flood of ideas rushed to me. Either way, I apologize for the misconception.

Reading it through again, I'm assuming that you are using "losing" in the context on a person and "Giving away" in the context of an object.

If I am mistaken yet again, let me know. If I'm not, here's what I have to say (obviously retracing my previous statements).

True, Women do (sometimes) want people that they have lost and cannot get back. Women do want things they had, gave away, and in the end realized they wanted.

However, here's the tricky bit. So do Men. As a species*, we are almost completely different, but still insanely similar. It's because of how our brains work, and how we show emotions that we (more often than not) fail to see the similarity.


* I mean us as Humans, not Men and Women as different species

how many points do i get or lose for making her valentines day gift into a treasure hunt in her room? (she's out of town right now)


*sorry wasn't bothered to read the entire first post....do i lose points for that *

devilsmind wrote:how many points do i get or lose for making her valentines day gift into a treasure hunt in her room? (she's out of town right now)


*sorry wasn't bothered to read the entire first post....do i lose points for that *

Of course you do, pay attention to each and every detail

Jeevan wrote:Hilarious…!!!


In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:





Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.



Here is a guide to the point system:



SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return
with

Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy

(-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)

Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)



HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the

colours of your favourite team (-10)



A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)



ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)



COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks

like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

Very good

You got the point

lol ......

Happy Valentines day everybody!!