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For Malayalis, No hard feelings

This was sent to me by a Malayali friend of mine; it's meant for fun only, if anybody tries to make an ethnic or political issue out of it I'm gonna kick him in the stomach
Now read and enjoy:

Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don't werk hard?

Kerala.

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Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

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Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?

To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

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Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?

To yearn menney.


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What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

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What is a Malayali management graduate called?

Yem Bee Yay.

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Why did his wife divorce him?

Because he was louwing another woman.


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Who found out that?

His andy.


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What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?

He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.


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What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?

An Oto.


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Who is a Malayali's famous yeactor end yaectress?

Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.


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Why is Kerala the most highly literate state in India?

Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.


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Why are Arab countries looking only for Keralites?

They are ready to do yennything for menney.


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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:You should at least send this mail to:


10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,

20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,

40 Malayalis you will receive appams,

Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the

lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of cokknut oil and

bennena chips free.

A very old one. .. But the interesting bit for me is that u used the term Malayalis.... much appreciated.

Unusually accurate, even if stereotypical.

This is another old joke.. never underestimate a Malayalee

Kuttapan is an Indian to be more accurate, a Malayalee.

Kuttappan was bragging to his Boss one day, “You know….. I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone important, and I’m sure I will know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his Boss called his bluff, “OK, Kuttappan Apoo, how about Tom Cruise?” Kuttappan replies “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Kuttappan and his Boss fly out to Hollywood and knock, on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts,” Hey Kutz!! Great to see you! You and your friend must come in and join me for lunch!”

They have a blast of a time. Katie Holmes even personally packs 2 sets of Masala Dosas, which is of course specially made by their South Indian chef. They bid each other farewell.

Although impressed, Kuttappan’s Boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky. Kuttappan says “No, no, you go ahead and just name anyone else.” “President Bush!” his Boss quickly retorts. Kuttappan says “Yes, OK, but I am telling you I don’t like him very much, he is very cunning, anyway let’s fly out to Washington.”

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his Boss over, saying, “Kuttans! What a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting. The CIA just informed me Osama is heading for the Pakistan Border, Hey Kuttans, are you still on speaking terms with Osama, maybe you could confirm the information for me? Oh never mind! You and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the Boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope!” his Boss replies. “Sure! This I like, I’ve been meaning to see him, he is not keeping too well y’know” says Kuttappan. “And I have a lot of friends in Vatican; it’s like my second home! And me and the Pope go back a long way, surely this will be a good trip”

So off they fly to Rome. Kuttappan and his Boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Kuttappan says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” The Boss shakes his head unbelievably and says “Yeah right!!”

Still so, Kuttappan disappears into the crowd, headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Pope on the balcony, waves to the crowds with the Pope and takes leave. But by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his Boss’ side, Kuttappan asks him, “What happened?” His Boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Kuttappan

Hehe. A guy with that much wastaa works for some small-time boss?

St.Lucifer: a good old one indeed!
Interestingly, we've an Arabic version of it too!

masrisy wrote:St.Lucifer: a good old one indeed!
Interestingly, we've an Arabic version of it too!

wow haha I'm impressed

another one


Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman.....Out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.




When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on.............he turns the dark off.


When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.


The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.


Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."


Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.


Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.


Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.


Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.


Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.


Behind every successful man, there is a woman Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.


With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Rajnikanth is not a Malayaleee.. Rajni 'anna' is a maharashtrian (mumbai) but 've been living in Tamil nadu for a long time and he's a Tamil hero and Asia's second highly paid actor. All his movies are horror- comic - thrillers known for his antics in them n ofcourse some beautiful (debatable) half clad women:D