Somehow I always managed and got everything under control and it was easier as their father was DEAD.
I had two bigger and one small baby and it was manageable.
But third child grows up and has a living father. And that's living Hell I can tell you.
Somehow he feels protected by his father and he is brave to tell me NO all the time, and to do everything opposite I say.
However, he is good in a heart and he comes right after some talk or negotiation.
Last year some boy killed himself, after his father grounded him by taking a phone from him.
Since then my youngest is saying to me: "I will kill myself", if I do not give him phone, Ipad, laptop or anything.
I told him not to talk like that, not to joke, not to invite hellfire for himself (as that is punishment for those who kill themselves) etc.
But he still used it today when I took his phone, after he didn't want to go out with me.
He usually loves to go out only with his father, when he comes once a week or once in two weeks to take him out for a lunch.
When I say go exercise - NO.
Go study - NO, I studied already at school.
Go out for a walk with brother and sister - NO.
Let's go to attend event/fair/exhibition...- NO.
Let's go to the Global Village/park/beach/Escape room.... - NO.
let's go shopping - NO.
Let's go to the restaurant - NO.
Today I grounded him after few NOs and after he didn't attend online class that he signed for, but played games instead.
When I took his phone and iPad he told me again that he will kill himself.
I know that he is joking and just trying to manipulate me, but I wanted him to stop forever saying such words, and joking with me in that way.
I took bamboo stick and hit him as hard as I could 2 times. My daughter stepped up to protected him but then I hit her as well.
She, as a sister, does not love him more than me!
Tomorrow that some boy comes and take her away to marry her, she will not even look back for her brother. It is only mother that cares about children until her death.
Well, I never hit him so hard in life, and I want him to remember this day and never say such thing again, as that joke is breaking mother's heart.
I called his father telling him that he is saying to me about killing himself whenever I ground him.
His father said " but he never says that to me".
OMG, how his son can tell him anything when he sees him only few hours in one or two weeks. He is not grounding him when taking him out for a lunch!
He is totally cool to think that it must be my mistake that my son is talking like that, as he himself is so great Dady that his son never tells him anything like that! I guess he is so proud of himself.
To have living ex-husband is a special circle of a Hell, I can tell you that.
In comparison life is so easy and smooth when ex is dead. OMG.
My ex always says that he will talk to his son as man-to-man, when I complain for something.
How man-to-man when my son is a child!!!
He is putting in his head an idea that he is grown up, that he can decide for himself hat he WANTS to do, where and when he wants to go etc. So my son is acting as if he is already grown up.
But one thing he didn't teach him that grown ups respect their mothers and listen to their mothers and do not do everything opposite...
Nothing that teachers tell him goes into his head, nothing that I tell, nothing that books tell at school...but only what his fathers says works well for him!
Two years ago his father bought him some anime books. And he said he paid it 900 AED and that I am not allowed to touch it. I tried to check what kind of books he bought but my son protected it as if it was his life depending on it. I thought he is protective just because they are too much expensive.
But then few weeks ago I was cleaning his bookshelf and table, and moving things when I saw a book that I never saw before. When I opened it there were all half-naked women!!!
That book was from that collection his father bought him, that he didn't let me see. I guess that as a small boy he was even ashamed to let me see such things.
And I took the rest of 22 books to check and OMG....there were such suggestible pictures. Like a big man, holding a small naked girl and such horror!!!
Imagine my shock. Indeed I never saw my son "reading". those books, but I had them in my home for so long time and I didn't even know
My ex husband is like: now my son is TEENAGER since he is thirteen!!
Sooo what!!!! So what if he is TEEN, he is just a child with pure soul.
How I wish all ex(es) who are like him, are dead!! Wallahi I wish.
I took my time and used my anger to rip all those books and throw them directly into garbage container. I sent some photos to his father asking why he bought such books to his child.
He claimed that he didn't know what is inside.
What kind of father does not know what kind of books he is buying to his son!????
For him it was important to show off in front of people and in front of his son, how he can buy expensive books to him, while mother is a loser who just think how to survive!
Mother is boring and buying socks and underwear for presents, and father is superhero who spends money, and so his son shall go out only with him.
This society is freaking society. If they see you weak everyone will hurt you, take your rights, laugh at you, despise you because you are poor and wearing cheap clothes etc.
But rare are those that would help, give you your right, support you, inspire you, advice you...
Whoever in society have opportunity, he will laugh at you, he will try to stop you when you are pushing hard, to slower your progress when you surpass....
Out of NOTHING we survived and excelled. Hungry we trained and won, sick we went to school and had perfect attendance records and the best marks, when they showed us their backs we went other ways and found better opportunities... But that is easy! Because it is outer world, we fight, we win, we show them our strength and resilience....
But when is somebody close to the family, who is constantly for 13 years bullying you and abusing you verbally and mentally... that is just indescribable.
I can protect my children from the entire world, I can ensure that they succeed and achieve whatever they aim for in their life....
But I can't protect them from their own father!!
That is impossible. How can I protect a child from his father?? Shall there be such a protection in the world!??
Every child needs a father, but some are just lucky that they have a dead one!
May Allah s.w.t. protect us from ourselves and from closest persons to us and then from others/ enemies. Amin
And for the end I tell anyone who judge me - to fcuk off, and to anyone who says that I am not a good person or believer because I swear and say bad words - fcuk off number squared.
If this society was not fucked up society then I would not need to swear, I would live in peace and have all rights and nobody will turn my kids against me and all people would help me when I needed a help, while rising two orphans and one ex-husband's son!!!
When others used my children's names to get help for them and then spend it in exotic vacations I was surviving and crying for help. And no one in this freaking society heard me. NO freaking ONE.
All you cared is my language!
Haram alaykum on dunya and akhirah. Haram every call for help that you ignored. Haram every cry and haram every breath afterwards that you inhaled peacefully.