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Paddy, carrying a big bunch of flowers, rings his new girlfriend's door bell on Valentine's Day.

She opens the door, sees the beautiful flowers, and drags Paddy in and pushes him on the couch.

She lies back next to him, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says lustfully, whilst pointing down,"This is for the flowers, My Love!!"


'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'

Bloke necks a quadruple whisky in one. The barman say's 'what's up?' bloke says 'came home tonight and caught my wife shaggin my best mate'.

'What did you do?' asked the barman.

Bloke says 'I told her yo pack her bags and f off.'

'What about your best friend?'

I looked him straight in the eye and said Bruno, BAD DOG!