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OXFORD DICTIONARY'S LATEST DEFINITIONS


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sage & onion
**Divorce: Future tense of marriage. **Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. **Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". **Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. **Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. **Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power. **Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. **Classic: books that people praise, but do not read. **Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. **Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. **Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. **Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. **Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. **Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. **Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. **Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. **Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river. **Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See, I am not injured yet." **Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. **Father: A banker provided by nature. **Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. **Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. **Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. ***********************************
Palkid7
  • sage & onion wrote:

    **Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & [color=red]a fool on the other.[/color]

Ouch, u will get alot of comments on this one
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
sauron
Yeah, like: Sage & Onion : something you shove up a turkey's backside ( sorry, Sage - couldn't resist ) :oops: :
Palkid7
  • sauron wrote:
    Yeah, like:
    Sage & Onion : something you shove up a turkey's backside
    ( sorry, Sage - couldn't resist ) :oops: :

lmao :lol: :lol:
Jeevan
i know the feminist force in here would kill me for this but neways Kiss: An application at the headquarters for entry at the base. * goes underground
sage & onion
  • sauron wrote:
    Yeah, like:
    Sage & Onion : something you shove up a turkey's backside
    ( sorry, Sage - couldn't resist ) :oops: :

Hahahahahahahaha
bushra21
so...these aren't real definitions from the dictionary?
sage & onion
  • bushra21 wrote:
    so...these aren't real definitions from the dictionary?

Hi Bushra, you mean you don't have the latest copy, sorry :cry:
bushra21
they're real? :oops: i didnt know that
bushra21
never mind...sage, that wasn't very nice :oops:
sage & onion
  • bushra21 wrote:
    never mind...sage, that wasn't very nice :oops:

What wasnt my dear?, you gotta laugh though :lol:
jabbajabba
After sitting in a two hour conference call 'Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. ' made me chuckle.




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