| sara_uk |
| One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma 'am. What are you doing? "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn 't that obvious?") "You' re in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I' m sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I 'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I 'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I' ll have to charge you with s e x u a l assault," says the woman. "But I haven' t even touched you," says the game warden. "That' s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma' am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It' s likely she can also think. |
| bushra21 |
| :lol: |
| d3vilish_ang3l_88 |
| hehehe....very funny :lol: :lol: |
| Legendkiller |
| One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that she knows I'm smarter than her :!: |
| Legendkiller |
| One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that she knows I'm smarter than her :!: |
| d3vilish_ang3l_88 |
| hehehe..very amusing! |
| d3vilish_ang3l_88 |
| hehehe..very amusing! oops..i posted twice...sorri ! |
| tins210cd |
| the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out the first one was borin, must be post from a girl.. Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol see ya |
| sage & onion |
Who is tins? |
| d3vilish_ang3l_88 |
i dont knw ?? :roll: :roll: |
| easternjewel |
| good one guys! |
| sara_uk |
yup second one was very funny, the first one was posted by a girl!!! well sara is usually a girl's name :roll: |
| easternjewel |
| the 1st joke rocked! :D |
| mema |
:lol: :lol: :lol: did'nt they learn anythn from the ur joke |
| sniper420 |
read that in digg longtime ago |
| tins210cd |
| Dont worry me human on this earthh Sorry girl,, but did not find it funny...... catch youl later |
| sage & onion |
But tins, you have no sense of humour :wink: |
| weary_heart |
I like the first one hehehhe I can buy my own diamonds! hehe |
| boomtown |
| First one was tops -second one sorry saw it from a mile off. Not bad try though :P |